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THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 


I  FAIRLY  LIFTED  THE  VESSEL    SEVERAL   YARDS  OUT   OF  WATER 

{page  121  ) 


THE  CHILDREN'S 
MUNCHAUSEN 

RETOLD  BY  JOHN  MARTIN 


ILLUSTRATED  BY 

GORDON  ROSS 


HOUGHTON  MIFFLIN  COMPANY 

BOSTON  AND  NEW  YORK 

JOHN  MARTIN'S  BOOK  HOUSE 

33  WEST  49TH  ST. ,  NEW  YORK 
1921 


COPYRIGHT,    I92I,    BY   HOUGHTON   MIFFLIN   COMPANY 
ALL    RIGHTS   RESERVED 

PRINTED  IN  THE  UNITED  STATES  OF  AMERICA 


Nil  t 


FOREWORD 


To  my  Young  Readers 

When  I  was  younger  I  seldom  read  "Forewords"  or  even 
"Afterwords  "  to  the  books  I  hoped  to  enjoy,  or,  having  read, 
had  enjoyed.  My  habit  was  to  think  that  authors  deprived  me 
of  pages  that  might  have  been  much  more  interestingly  used. 
In  fact,  I  considered  prefatory  pages  and  introductions  a  waste 
of  paper  and  thieves  of  my  valuable  time.  Perhaps  you  feel  as 
I  once  did  about  prosy  prefaces  and  serious  forewords.  If  so, 
I  fully  understand  and  sympathize,  but  as  I  write  these  lines 
I  cannot  help  having  the  hope  that  some  of  you  will  read 
them.  If  you  do  I  am  sure  you  will  put  something  away  into 
your  memory  store  that  will  give  you  what  I  lost  as  a  boy,  a 
more  complete  and  more  worth  while  knowledge  of  this  book 
and  others  that  you  may  read.  Yes,  "the  preface  habit"  is  a 
good  one  and  does  more  for  us  than  we  realize;  besides,  it  is  a 
rather  pleasant  way  to  take  a  peep  into  the  real  inside  of  the 
Author's  head  and  heart. 

I  believe  a  short  story  of  the  book,  Munchausen,  its  author, 
and  those  who  contributed  to  the  Baron  s  Adventures,  will  in- 
terest you  ;  besides,  I  have  a  feeling  of  responsibility  in  the 
matter,  thinking  it  only  right  that  you  should  be  admitted 
into  a  mystery  that  has  always  surrounded  the  stories  gathered 
for  you  in  this  book. 

For  many  years  there  was  much  uncertainty  as  to  the  au- 


flQQ 


vi  FOREWORD 


thorship  of  The  Travels  of  Baron  Munchausen,  and  as  to  its 
object  there  were  many  differences  of  opinion.  It  is  not  for 
me  to  awaken  discussion  long  forgotten  ;  therefore  all  I  shall 
do  is  give  you  those  opinions  that  are  most  reliable  and  from 
sources  that  are  within  my  own  reach. 

In  1 85 1  a  London  literary  sheet  called  Notes  and  Queries 
said,  "  The  Travels  of  Baron  Munchausen  was  written  to  ridicule 
Mr.  James  Bruce,  an  Abyssinian  explorer  and  traveler  whose 
adventures  at  that  time  were  thought  to  be  fictitious."  It  is 
doubtful,  however,  if  this  reason  for  Munchausen  is  true,  for  in 
my  own  library  I  have  a  two-volume  edition  of  Munchausen 
published  by  Kearsley  in  1792—93,  the  first  volume  of  which 
contains  engravings  marked  as  follows,  "  Published  as  the  Act 
directs  for  G.  Kearsley  at  No.  46,  in  Fleet  Street,  London, 
1786."  This  date  was  four  years  before  Mr.  Bruce' s  Travels 
appeared.  I  am  telling  you  this  not  as  something  of  great 
importance  to  the  why  and  wherefore  of  Munchausen,  but 
rather  as  an  interesting  bit  of  knowledge  you  may  use  when 
you  come  to  read  the  original  editions  of  the  book. 

As  to  the  authorship  of  the  work  there  is  now  no  doubt,  for 
it  is  known  that  at  least  Chapters  II,  III,  IV,  V,  and  VI  were 
written  by  Rudolf  Erich  Raspe,1  and,  as  my  old  edition  of 
1792-93  says  in  the  Editor's  preface,  "the  rest  are  the  pro- 
duction of  another  pen,  written  in  the  Baron's  manner." 

From  this  you  will  see  that  Raspe  was  the  original  fabri- 

1  In  this  edition  of  the  Baron's  adventures  the  original  chapters  by 
Raspe  are  represented  by  Chapters  II,  III,  IV,  V,  and  XIX. 


FOREWORD  vii 


cator,  who,  with  five  chapters,  inspired  another  and  probably 
many  others  to  build  up  two  volumes  of  lies  that  have  come 
to  be  considered  the  last  word  in  fibbing,  and  classics  of  mon- 
strous imagination.  In  the  book  I  give  you,  the  five  famous 
chapters  stand  just  as  they  appeared  in  the  early  editions  save 
for  such  editing  as  seemed  wise  for  me  to  make.  It  will  be 
interesting  for  you  to  compare  these  chapters  with  those 
"written  by  another  in  the  Baron's  manner." 

There  have  been  many  editions  of  Munchausen,  and  those 
in  the  German  have  all  sorts  of  added  adventures,  but  those  I 
have  included  in  this  book  of  yours  are  made  entirely  from 
the  only  authentic  source,  the  early  English  editions. 

The  Author,  Rudolf  Erich  Raspe,  was  born  in  Hanover  in 
1737.  He  became  a  brilliant  scholar  and  student  of  natural 
history  and  a  great  judge  of  antique  jewelry.  As  the  years 
passed,  he  grew  to  be  a  greater  scamp  than  scholar,  and  his 
fondness  for  old  jewelry  led  him  to  steal  a  collection  from  his 
employer;  hence,  in  1775  we  see  him  a  fugitive  from  justice, 
working  his  talents  in  England.  In  that  country  he  lived  by  his 
brains,  of  which  he  had  a  plenty,  and  by  his  wits,  which  got 
him  into  frequent  trouble.  After  years  of  honest  writing  and 
questionable  uses  of  his  wit,  we  find  that  he  "salted,"  or  scat- 
tered, valuable  minerals  on  the  estate  of  Sir  John  Sinclair.  This 
kind  and  ever  hopeful  old  baronet  was  successfully  tolled  along 
for  a  good  but  dangerous  living  for  some  time.  The  day  came, 
however,  when  Raspe  was  caught  in  his  "salting,"  but  he  was 
a  bird  that  feared  his  own  salt,  and  away  he  flew  to  Ireland, 


viii  FOREWORD 


where  he  died  at  Muckross  in  1794.  I  should  like  to  moral- 
ize a  little  right  here  with  you  upon  the  subject  of  ill-used 
talents  and  the  evil  thereof,  but  as  you  will  do  all  that  is  nec- 
essary yourselves,  why  should  I  philosophize  ? 

During  his  life  Raspe  was  never  known  to  be  the  originator 
of  Munchausen.  Until  1 824  one  August  Burger,  a  German  and 
translator  only  of  Raspe's  tales,  allowed  it  to  be  understood  that 
he  was  the  author,  but  in  due  time  it  fell  to  Burger's  lot  to 
die,  and  his  biographer  let  the  cat  out  of  the  bag,  much  to  the 
annoyance  of  friends  who  thought  it  best  to  leave  well  enough 
alone.  I  have  no  doubt  that  you  will  sometime  have  it  said 
to  you  that  Munchausen  first  appeared  in  German,  but  do  not 
let  that  bother  you;  just  say,  "How  about  that  edition  of 
1792-93  published  in  London  by  G.  Kearsley?" 

As  to  my  part  in  making  this  book  for  you,  I  claim  nothing 
save  a  very  sincere  desire  to  arrange  a  book  that  you  will  love 
and  value  and,  above  all,  one  that  is  right  for  you  to  use  until 
you  are  old  enough  to  read  and  understand  the  quaint  old 
editions.  (I  wish  you  might  then  use  one  of  mine,  as  I  have 
many.) 

I  have  left  for  you  all  the  Baron's  exact  words  and  manners 
with  the  connection  of  the  tales,  only  cutting  out  vulgarities 
common  to  a  time  when  a  spade  was  a  spade  too  often  to  make 
proper  reading.  Cruelties  I  have  omitted,  for  these  are  unnec- 
essary to  the  interest  of  the  stories.  When  long  political  dis- 
cussions and  the  Baron's  tiresome  boasts  arose,  I  ruthlessly 
reduced  their  length,  for  they  add  no  color  or  punch  to  ad- 


FOREWORD  ix 


venture.  The  second  volume  of  my  old  edition  I  have  written 
down  to  a  few  chapters,  for  I  cannot  understand  it,  to  say 
nothing  of  getting  enjoyment  out  of  it. 

In  this  book  I  have  tried  to  give  you  a  Munchausen  that  pre- 
serves the  style  and  spirit  of  the  original  writing  so  that  one 
day  you  will  read  the  older  renderings  easily  and  familiarly 
and  with  real  enjoyment  and  knowledge. 

Finally,  I  sincerely  hope  that  I  have  given  you  a  book  that 
will  add  to  your  joy  and  inspire  you  to  a  love  of  those  classic 
tales  that  round  out  your  literary  taste  and  judgment. 
Always  your  sincere  friend, 

JOHN  MARTIN 


CONTENTS 

Chapter  I.  The  Baron  compliments  his  young  Readers  —  He 
begins  an  account  of  his  travels  —  An  astonishing  storm  and 
its  strange  effect  —  He  arrives  at  Ceylon,  battles  with,  and 
conquers,  two  extraordinary  opponents  —  Returns  to  Hol- 
land and  is  honorably  rewarded  I 

Chapter  II.  In  which  the  Baron  makes  a  good  shot  —  He  loses 
his  horse,  but  finds  a  wolf  —  Uses  a  wolf  in  place  of  a  horse  — 
The  Baron  promises  his  young  Readers  further  wonderful 
adventures  1 1 

Chapter  III.  The  Baron's  nose,  a  door-post,  and  a  new  variety 
of  fireworks  — With  one  shot  marvelously  made  the  Baron 
bags  many  ducks  —  He  leads  a  blind  sow  home  by  the  tail  — ■ 
of  another;  and  vanquishes  a  wild  boar  17 

Chapter  IV.  The  value  and  great  usefulness  of  presence  of 
mind  —  A  favorite  hound  and  its  virtues  —  The  Baron  is 
given  a  wonderful  horse  with  which  he  performs  remarkable 
feats  23 

Chapter  V.  The  Baron  is  made  a  prisoner  of  war  —  He  keeps 
the  Sultan's  bees  —  He  loses  the  bees,  also  loses  a  silver 
hatchet  on  the  horn  of  the  moon  —  Brings  it  back  by  an  in- 
genious invention  —  The  Baron  falls  to  earth  into  a  pit  made 
by  himself  —  Helps  himself  out  of  the  pit  —  Extricates  him- 
self from  trouble  by  the  wayside  —  The  wonderful  effects  of 
the  frost  upon  his  servant's  French  horn  33 

Chapter  VI.  The  Baron  takes  a  bath  in  the  Mediterranean 
Sea  —  He  meets  a  surprising  companion  and  hurries  unex- 
pectedly into  heat  and  darkness  —  The  Baron  dances  a  horn- 


xii  CONTENTS 


pipe  with  great  success  —  He  gives  his  deliverers  a  shock  and 

a  surprise  and  returns  to  shore  41 

Chapter  VII.  The  Baron's  adventures  in  Turkey,  and  upon 
the  river  Nile  —  He  sees  a  balloon  over  Constantinople; 
shoots  at  and  brings  it  down;  finds  an  aerial  traveler  hanging 
from  it  —  The  Baron  goes  to  Cairo  on  a  secret  mission  and 
returns  by  way  of  the  Nile  —  He  is  thrown  into  an  unex- 
pected dilemma  and  detained  six  weeks  47 

Chapter  VIII.  The  Baron  crosses  the  Thames  without  bridge 
or  boat  or  balloon  or  even  his  own  will  —  He  rouses  from  a 
long  nap  —  He  destroys  a  monster  —  The  Baron  tells  of  im- 
portant adventures  —  He  visits  Mount  ^Etna  and  drops  in 
upon  Vulcan  and  Cyclops  —  He  is  rudely  dismissed,  and  falls 
through  the  earth  to  the  South  Sea  55 

Chapter  IX.  The  Baron  takes  an  unexpected  plunge  —  Ar- 
rives on  an  island  of  cheese,  surrounded  by  milk  —  The  Baron 
tells  of  extraordinary  objects  —  The  trees  pay  tribute  to  the 
Baron  and  his  party  63 

Chapter  X.  The  Baron's  ship  passes  between  the  teeth  of  a 
fish  unknown  in  this  part  of  the  world  —  They  have  great 
difficulty  in  escaping  from  the  interior  regions  of  this  monster 
—  They  arrive  in  the  Caspian  Sea  —  The  Baron  starves  a 
bear  —  A  marvelous  waistcoat  71 

Chapter  XL  The  Baron  pays  a  visit  during  the  siege  of  Gibral- 
tar —  Sinks  a  Spanish  man-of-war  —  Destroys  all  the  ene- 
my's cannon  —  Saves  the  lives  of  two  English  officers  with  a 
marvelous  sling  and  raises  the  siege  79 

Chapter  XII.  The  Baron  tells  more  of  his  wonderful  sling  — 
The  Baron's  father  narrates  adventures  with  a  sea-horse  —  A 
deadly  battle  between  lobsters  and  crabs  —  The  Baron's 


CONTENTS  xiii 


father  sells  his  marine  steed  for  a  large  sum  —  The  Baron 
makes  observations  of  his  own  upon  bravery  89 

Chapter  XIII.  The  Baron  tells  of  adventures  on  a  voyage  to 
North  America  which  are  worthy  of  his  young  Readers'  at- 
tention—  The  pranks  of  a  monstrous  whale  —  A  sea-gull 
saves  the  life  of  a  sailor  —  The  Baron's  head  is  forced  amid- 
ships —  The  Baron  stops  a  serious  leak  in  an  unusual  manner    95 

Chapter  XIV.  The  Baron  tells  of  a  frolic  —  Saint  Paul's  clock 
strikes  thirteen  —  Windsor  Castle  —  College  of  Physicians 
—  Undertakers,  sextons,  and  apothecaries  almost  ruined         101 

Chapter  XV.  The  Baron  sails  with  Captain  Phipps,  attacks 
two  large  bears,  and  has  a  narrow  escape  —  Gains  the  confi- 
dence of  the  animals  and  guides  them  on  board  ship  — ■  The 
Baron  makes  many  gifts  and  is  highly  honored  —  The  Baron 
acquits  Captain  Phipps  of  neglect  of  duty  107 

Chapter  XVI.  Our  Baron  excels  Baron  Tott  completely  — 
Gets  into  disgrace  with  the  Grand  Seignior,  who  orders  the 
Baron's  head  to  be  removed  —  The  Baron  escapes  and  gets 
on  board  a  vessel  bound  for  Venice  —  He  dismisses  Tott 
from  mind  and  from  further  memory  113 

Chapter  XVII.  This  is  a  chapter  that  proves  the  fact  that  the 
Baron's  memory  ought  to  be  dear  to  Englishmen,  especially 
those  who  may  have  the  misfortune  of  hereafter  being  made 
prisoners  of  war  —  A  voyage  eastward  —  The  Baron  intro- 
duces a  friend  who  never  betrayed  him  — ■  Pins  his  faith  on  a 
friend's  nose  and  wins  a  wager  —  The  Baron's  friend  points 
to  game  in  mid-ocean  —  The  friend  is  fittingly  rewarded         119 

Chapter  XVIII.  The  Baron  visits  the  moon  a  second  time  — 
His  ship  is  driven  by  a  whirlwind  a  thousand  leagues  above 
the  sea  — •  A  description  of  the  moon's  inhabitants,  animals, 


xiv  CONTENTS 


customs,  and  weapons  of  war  — ■  The  Baron  does  not  tell  how 
he  made  his  return  journey,  but  assures  us  of  the  veracity  of 
his  narrative  125 

Chapter  XIX.  The  Baron  tells  of  Saint  Hubert's  stag  — 
Shoots  a  stag  with  cherry-stones  —  Tells  of  venison  steak  and 
cherry-sauce  —  Overcomes  a  bear  in  a  miraculous  manner  — 
Is  attacked  by  a  terrible  wolf,  which  he  promptly  disposes  of 

—  Is  assailed  by  a  mad  dog  —  The  Baron's  best  cloak  is 
seized  with  madness  133 

Chapter  XX.  The  Baron  visits  a  ruined  tower  —  Discovers  a 
deep  chasm  and  investigates  its  mysteries  —  An  eagle  carries 
him  off  his  feet  —  A  marvelous  flight  over  the  English  Chan- 
nel and  France  to  the  Rock  of  Gibraltar  —  A  night  flight 
overseas  to  South  America  141 

Chapter  XXI.  The  Baron  continues  his  extraordinary  journey 

—  Comes  to  South  America  —  He  discovers  roast  beef  fruit 
and  escapes  from  a  savage  beast  in  a  remarkable  manner  — 
The  Baron  takes  aboard  ample  provisions  and  continues  his 
aerial  journey  149 

Chapter  XXII.  The  Baron  insists  upon  the  veracity  of  his 
Memoirs  —  He  forms  a  design  of  making  discoveries  in  the 
interior  parts  of  Africa  —  He  calls  upon  his  illustrious  friend, 
Hilaro  Frosticos  —  The  Baron  prepares  for  his  journey  — 
Description  of  his  chariot :  the  beauties  and  comforts  of  the 
marvelous  vehicle;  the  animals  that  drew  it  and  the  mechan- 
ism of  its  wheels  —  Brief  advice  to  young  adventurers  seek- 
ing to  follow  the  Baron's  glorious  career  —  The  Baron  con- 
voys a  squadron  to  Gibraltar  —  His  chariot  is  damaged  by 
Pompey's  Pillar — He  splits  a  great  rock  at  the  Cape  of 
Good  Hope  and  thereby  names  a  mountain  159 


CONTENTS  Xv 


Chapter  XXIII.  The  Baron  leaves  his  chariot  at  the  Cape  of 
Good  Hope  and  returns  by  ship  to  England  —  Wrecked  on  an 
island  of  ice  —  The  Baron  and  crew  tow  the  island  back  to 
England- — The  Privy  Council  supports  another  expedition 
—  Description  of  the  vehicle  and  the  Sphinx  —  The  Baron's 
retinue  starts  upon  the  journey  into  the  heart  of  Africa  169 

Chapter  XXIV.  The  Baron  passes  into  the  heart  of  Africa, 
proceeding  from  the  Cape  northwards  —  His  ingenuity  de- 
feats a  host  of  lions  by  a  curious  stratagem  —  The  Baron 
travels  through  an  immense  desert  —  His  company,  chariot, 
etc.,  are  covered  by  a  whirlwind  of  sand  —  He  extricates  his 
party  and  arrives  in  a  fertile  country  of  great  beauty  175 

Adieu  184 


ILLUSTRATIONS 

I  FAIRLY  LIFTED  THE  VESSEL  SEVERAL  YARDS  OUT  OF  WATER 

Colored  frontispiece 

The  Head  of  the  Lion  stuck  in  the  Throat  of  the 
Crocodile  8 

He  had,    of   course,  eaten   his  Way   into   my  Beast's 
Harness  (in  color)  16 

His  Tusks  pierced  the  Tree  20 

My  Work  was   to   drive  the  Sultan's  Bees  to  their 
Pasture-Grounds  36 

I  THEN  JUMPED  A  HEDGE  ABOUT  NlNE    FEET  HIGH   (in  Color)         38 

With  Great  Difficulty  we  cut  open  One  of  these  Eggs  68 

Our  Ship,  with  all  Masts  standing  and  with  Sails  Full 
Set,  was  drawn  straight  into  his  Mouth  (in  color)  74 

Squeezed  them  both  so  that  he  cried  out  lustily  76 

He  galloped  across  the  Sea's  Bottom  (in  color)  92 

I  slaughtered  the  Creatures  one  by  one  (in  color)  1 10 

I  BEHELD  A  NOBLE  STAG  (in  Color)  I36 

At  last  the  Birds  rose  with  Great  Speed  and  Vigor 
(in  color)  154 


CHAPTER  I 


The  Baron  compliments  his  young  Readers  —  He  begins 
an  account  of  his  travels  —  An  astonishing  storm  and 
its  strange  effect —  He  arrives  at  Ceylon;  battles  with, 
and  conquers,  two  extraordinary  opponents  —  Returns 
to  Holland  and  is  honorably  rewarded 


THE  TRAVELS 

OF 

BARON  MUNCHAUSEN 


CHAPTER  I 

AM  sure  the  young  Readers  for 
whom  I  am  especially  writing  my 
many  and  varied  adventures  will 
look  upon  these  opening  words  with 
favor  and  belief  when  I  say  that  I 
was  of  very  tender  years  when  one 
of  my  most  remarkable  experiences 
came  to  me.  Being  certain  of  your 
attention  and  sympathy,  no  matter  how  unjustly  I  may 
be  slandered  by  those  of  mature  years,  I  shall  proceed 
with  my  true  and  remarkable  narrative. 

Some  years  before  my  beard  foreshadowed  coming 
manhood,  —  in  fact,  when  I  was  neither  man  nor  boy,  but 
rather  a  little  of  both,  —  I  had  a  strong  desire  to  see  the 
world.  In  this  very  natural  and  even  commendable  am- 
bition I  was  discouraged  by  my  parents.  A  cousin  of  my 
mothers,  however,  took  a  liking  to  me,  and,  after  re- 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 


marking  that  I  was  a  fine  and  eager  youth,  was  inclined 
to  gratify  my  not  unworthy  desire  for  adventure.  My 
cousin's  eloquence  had  more  effect  than  mine,  and  my 
father  agreed  to  my  sailing  with  him  on  a  voyage  to  the 
Island  of  Ceylon  where  my  great-uncle  had  resided  as 
governor  for  many  years.  I  was  indeed  pleased  to  be  so 
flattered  by  my  respected  parent,  who  proved  thereby 
his  respect  for  my  desires  and  ambitions. 

We  sailed  from  Amsterdam  with  all  fitting  sanction 
and  approval  from  the  States  of  Holland.  The  only 
thing  worth  telling  you  which  happened  on  our  voyage 
was  the  wonderful  effect  of  a  storm  we  encountered. 
When  lying  at  anchor  near  an  island  where  we  had  taken 
in  wood  and  water,  the  gale  struck  us.  Such  was  its 
terrific  force  that  it  tore  up  by  the  roots  great  numbers 
of  trees  of  enormous  bulk  and  height.  Some  of  these 
trees  weighed  many  tons,  yet  they  were  carried  by  the 
wind  so  amazingly  high  that  they  appeared  like  the 
feathers  of  small  birds  floating  in  the  air.  These  trees 
were  hurled  at  least  five  miles  from  the  earth.  However, 
as  soon  as  the  storm  subsided,  they  all  fell  straight  down 
into  the  places  from  which  they  had  been  torn,  and  took 
root  immediately. 

One  only,  and  that  the  largest  tree,  fell  elsewhere.   It 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 


happened,  when  blown  into  the  air,  to  have  a  man  and 
his  wife  (a  very  honest  old  couple)  upon  its  branches. 
This  couple  had  been  gathering  cucumbers  which  grew 
in  great  abundance  thereon.  In  this  part  of  the  globe, 
that  useful  vegetable  grows  upon  trees.  The  imposing 
weight  of  this  worthy  couple  overbalanced  the  tree  as  it 
descended,  and  brought  it  down  in  a  horizontal  position. 
With  great  force  it  fell  upon  the  chief  man  of  the  island 
and  killed  him  on  the  spot.  This  person  had  quitted 
his  house  in  the  storm,  having  an  idea  that  another  place 
might  be  a  safer  retreat.  As  he  hastened  through  his  own 
vegetable  garden,  this  fortunate  accident  happened. 

The  word  fortunate  requires  some  explanation  here, 
for  I  would  not  give  my  young  readers  an  impression 
of  indifference  to  the  calamities  of  others.  It  must  be 
said  that  this  chief  was  a  man  of  very  avaricious  and 
oppressive  disposition,  and,  though  he  had  no  family  to 
make  miserable,  the  natives  were  half  starved  by  his 
unjust  and  infamous  impositions.  He  was  commonly 
known  to  exact  rentals  far  beyond  the  means  of  his  ten- 
ants, and  then  what  remained  of  their  scanty  savings  was 
paid  out  for  bread  of  poor  quality,  sold  by  him  at  a 
tenfold  profit.  Great  stores  of  goods  taken  from  the 
wretched  natives  were  spoiling  in  his  warehouses  while 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 


his  plundered  victims  were  pining  in  poverty.  Though 
the  destruction  of  this  tyrant  was  accidental,  such  acci- 
dents may  be  justly  called  fortunate.  At  least,  the  acci- 
dent was  so  considered  by  the  natives  of  the  island,  who 
immediately  chose  the  cucumber-gatherers  for  their 
governors,  as  a  mark  of  gratitude  for  thus  ridding  them 
of  their  late  tyrant  by  means  so  accidental. 

After  we  had  repaired  the  damage  caused  by  the 
storm,  and  taken  respectful  leave  of  the  new  governor 
and  his  lady,  we  sailed  with  a  fair  wind  for  the  object 
of  our  voyage.  In  about  six  weeks  we  arrived  at  Ceylon, 
where  we  were  received  with  great  marks  of  friendship 
and  true  politeness. 

Though  of  no  great  importance  compared  with  other 
of  my  experiences,  the  following  singular  adventure  may 
prove  interesting  to  young  people  of  lively  wits  and 
active  imagination. 

After  we  had  resided  at  Ceylon  about  a  fortnight,  I 
accompanied  a  brother  of  the  governor  upon  a  shooting 
party.  He  was  a  strong,  athletic  man,  and,  being  used 
to  that  climate,  he  bore  the  violent  heat  of  the  sun  much 
better  than  I.  In  our  excursion  he  had  made  consider- 
able progress  through  the  thick  wood  when  I  was  only 
at  the  entrance. 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 


Near  the  banks  of  a  large  body  of  water  which  held 
my  attention,  I  thought  I  heard  a  rustling  noise  behind 
me.  On  facing  about  I  was  almost  turned  to  stone  at 
the  sight  of  a  lion,  which  was  evidently  approaching 
with  the  selfish  intention  of  satisfying  his  appetite  upon 
my  poor  carcass,  and  that  without  asking  my  consent. 
What  was  to  be  done  in  this  horrible  dilemma?  I  had 
not  even  a  moment  for  thinking  the  matter  over.  My 
gun  was  only  loaded  with  swan-shot,  and  I  had  no 
heavier  lead  about  me.  However,  though  I  could  have 
no  idea  of  killing  such  an  animal  with  this  poor  ammu- 
nition, yet  I  had  some  hopes  of  frightening  him  by  the 
report.  I  therefore  let  fly  without  waiting  till  he  was 
within  reach.  The  report  did  but  enrage  the  beast,  for 
he  now  quickened  his  pace  and  came  at  me  full  speed. 
I  tried  to  escape,  but  this  only  added  to  my  distress,  for 
the  moment  I  turned  about  I  found  a  large  crocodile  with 
open  jaws  ready  to  receive  me.  On  the  right  hand  was 
the  body  of  water  before  mentioned,  and  on  my  left  a 
deep  precipice,  at  the  bottom  of  which  venomous  crea- 
tures gathered  in  great  numbers.  In  short,  I  gave  myself 
up  for  lost,  for  the  lion  was  now  upon  his  hind  legs  in 
the  act  of  seizing  me.  I  stumbled  and  fell  to  the  ground 
with  fear,  and  the  ravenous  creature  sprang  over  me. 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 


There  I  lay  in  a  situation  which  no  language  can 
describe,  expecting  each  terrific  moment  to  feel  his  teeth 
or  claws  in  some  part  of  my  person.  After  waiting  in 
this  prostrate  situation  for  what  seemed  a  very  long 
time,  I  heard  a  loud  but  strange  noise,  different  from 
any  sound  that  had  ever  attacked  my  ears ;  nor  is  this  at 
all  to  be  wondered  at,  when  I  tell  you  whence  it  pro- 
ceeded. Venturing  to  raise  my  head,  I  looked  about, 
and  to  my  great  joy  I  perceived  the  lion,  in  his  eager- 
ness to  dine  upon  me,  had  sprung  over  my  prostrate 
carcass,  clean  into  the  crocodiled  jaws,  which,  as  I  have 
told  you,  were  wide  open  I  The  head  of  the  lion  stuck 
in  the  throat  of  the  crocodile,  and  each  was  now  strug- 
gling to  be  rid  of  the  other !  I  fortunately  remembered 
my  couteau  de  chasse  (hunting-knife)  which  was  at  my 
side ;  with  this  I  cut  ofT  the  lion's  head  at  one  blow ! 
This  was  no  mean  feat,  I  assure  you.  Then,  with  the 
butt  of  my  fowling-piece,  I  assisted  the  lion's  head  far- 
ther into  the  throat  of  the  crocodile.  As  the  creature 
could  neither  swallow  nor  cough  up  this  morsel,  he  in- 
stantly died  of  suffocation. 

When  I  had  thus  gained  this  complete  victory  over 
my  two  powerful  adversaries,  my  companion  arrived  in 
search  of  me.   After  mutual  congratulations,  we  mea- 


THE  HEAD  OF  THE  LION  STUCK  IN  THE  THROAT  OF  THE  CROCODILE 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 


sured  the  crocodile,  which  was  just  forty  feet  in  length. 
As  soon  as  I  had  told  this  strange  and  hazardous  ad- 
venture to  the  governor,  he  sent  a  wagon  and  servants 
who  brought  home  the  two  carcasses.  The  lion's  skin 
was  properly  preserved  with  its  hair  on,  after  which  it 
was  made  into  tobacco  pouches  and  presented  by  me, 
upon  my  return  to  Holland,  to  the  Burgomasters.  In 
return  for  my  generous  gifts,  I  was  requested  to  accept 
a  thousand  ducats. 

The  skin  of  the  crocodile  was  stuffed  in  the  usual 
manner  and  makes  a  capital  article  in  the  public  mu- 
seum at  Amsterdam,  where  the  exhibitor  relates  the 
whole  story  to  each  visitor,  with  such  additions  as  he 
thinks  proper.  Some  of  these  twistings  of  the  strict  truth 
are  rather  surprising.  One  of  them  is  that  the  lion 
jumped  quite  through  the  crocodile,  from  jaw  to  tail 
tip,  and  as  the  lion's  head  appeared  on  its  hurried  jour- 
ney, the  Great  Baron  cut  it  off  taking  at  least  three  feet 
of  the  crocodile's  tail  along  with  it.  And,  alas,  so  little 
respect  has  this  fellow  for  the  truth  that  he  sometimes 
adds  that  as  soon  as  the  crocodile  missed  his  tail,  he  turned 
upon  the  Brave  Baron,  seized  the  hunting-knife  from 
his  hand,  and  swallowed  it  in  such  haste  that  the  blade 
pierced  the  creature's  vitals  and  killed  him  instantly ! 


IO 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 


The  little  regard  which  this  impudent  knave  has  for 
truth  sincerely  told  makes  me  sometimes  fear  that  my  real 
facts  may  fall  under  suspicion  by  being  found  in  com- 
pany with  his  annoying  exaggerations.  But  I  rest  satis- 
fied with  the  ready  belief  and  generous  sympathies  of 
my  younger  readers,  whose  imaginations,  at  least,  keep 
pace  with  my  astonishing  adventures. 

Liars  are  indeed  contemptible,  and  braggarts  deserve 
no  consideration;  therefore,  let  us  be  strict  in  our  ob- 
servance of  the  truth  and  modest  in  our  words  and 
deeds.  Thus  may  we  deserve  respect  and  then  only 
achieve  greatness. 


CHAPTER  II 


In  which  the  Baron  makes  a  good  shot  —  He  loses  his 
horse,  but  finds  a  wolf — Uses  a  wolf  in  place  of  a 
horse — The  Baron  promises  his  young  Readers  further 
wonderful  adventures 


CHAPTER  II 


HE  lively  fancy  of  your  young  minds  will 
find  no  difficulty  in  following  me  from 
tropic  climes  to  lands  of  ice  and  snow. 
Your  wits  and  mine  will  run  a  rapid  pace 
with  neither  fall  nor  doubting  stumble. 
My  adventures  have  been  varied  as  also 
have  been  the  excursions  of  your  adventurous  imagina- 
tions. Therefore,  I  once  set  off  from  Rome  on  a  journey 
to  Russia  in  the  midst  of  winter.  I  had  a  notion  that  frost 
and  snow  must,  of  course,  improve  the  roads  which  every 
traveler  had  described  as  uncommonly  bad  through  the 
northern  parts  of  Germany,  Poland,  Courland,  and  Livo- 
nia. I  went  on  horseback,  as  the  least  difficult  manner  of 
traveling.  I  was  but  lightly  clothed  and  suffered  greatly 
the  more  I  advanced  to  the  northeast.  On  my  way  I 
came  upon  a  poor  old  man  lying,  shivering  and  lifeless, 
by  the  roadside.  Scarcely  a  garment  had  he  wherewith  to 
cover  his  aged  body.  What  must  not  the  poor  soul  have 
suffered  ?  Though  I  felt  the  severity  of  the  weather  my- 
self, I  pitied  the  poor  creature  and  threw  my  cloak  over 
him,  and  immediately  I  heard  a  voice  of  approval  bless- 
ing me  for  that  act  of  charity,  saying: 


i4  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

"  For  this  you  will  be  rewarded,  my  son,  in  good 


time." 


Onward  I  pursued  my  journey ;  night  and  darkness 
overtook  me.  No  village  was  to  be  seen.  The  country 
was  covered  with  snow,  and  I  was  unacquainted  with 
the  road. 

Exceedingly  weary,  I  alighted  and  fastened  my  horse 
to  something  that  looked  like  a  pointed  stump  of  a  tree 
which  stood  up  above  the  snow.  For  the  sake  of  safety 
I  placed  my  pistols  under  my  arms  and  lay  down  upon 
the  snow,  where  I  slept  so  soundly  that  I  did  not  open 
my  eyes  till  full  daylight.  Even  you  will  not  easily 
understand  my  astonishment  to  find  myself  lying  in  a 
churchyard  in  the  midst  of  a  village.  My  horse  was  not 
to  be  seen,  but  presently  I  heard  him  neigh  somewhere 
above  me.  On  looking  upwards,  I  saw  him  hanging  by 
his  bridle  to  the  weathercock  of  the  church  steeple. 

My  changed  locality  and  the  strange  position  of  my 
horse  were  at  first  bewildering  if  not  mysterious,  but  mat- 
ters were  soon  very  plain  to  me.  The  village  had  been 
covered  with  a  heavy  fall  of  snow.  While  I  slept,  a  sud- 
den change  of  weather  had  taken  place,  and  the  snow 
had  melted.  Slowly  and  gently  I  was  lowered  to  the 
level  of  the  churchyard;  and  what  in  the  dark  I  had 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  15 

taken  to  be  a  stump  of  a  little  tree  above  the  snow  proved 
to  have  been  the  top  of  the  church  weathercock.  There 
hung  my  horse,  high  in  the  air. 

Without  thinking  long,  I  took  one  of  my  pistols,  shot 
the  bridle  in  two,  brought  down  the  horse,  and  without 
further  ado  proceeded  on  my  journey.  (Here  the  Baron 
seems  to  have  entirely  lost  his  tender  feelings  for  those 
in  suffering  or  want.  Certainly  a  good  breakfast  of  corn 
for  his  horse,  who  had  fasted  so  long  and  hung  so  high, 
would  have  been  in  keeping  with  the  charitable  deeds  of 
which,  but  the  night  before,  the  Baron  bravely  boasted.) 

My  noble  beast  carried  me  well,  advancing  into  the 
interior  of  Russia.  I  found  going  on  horseback  in  those 
parts  rather  unfashionable  in  winter ;  therefore,  I  yielded, 
as  I  always  do,  to  the  customs  of  the  country,  took  a 
single-horse  sleigh,  and  drove  briskly  towards  Saint 
Petersburg. 

I  do  not  exactly  remember  at  the  moment  whether 
it  was  in  Eastland  or  Jugemanland,  but  I  do  know  that 
in  the  midst  of  a  dreary  forest  I  spied  a  terrible  wolf 
making  after  me  with  all  the  speed  of  ravenous  winter 
hunger.  He  soon  overtook  me.  There  was  no  way  of 
escape.  Without  thought,  I  laid  myself  down  flat  in  the 
sleigh,  and  let  my  horse  run  for  our  safety.   The  means 


1 6  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

of  escape  I  wished,  but  hardly  hoped  for  or  expected, 
happened  immediately. 

The  wolf  did  not  mind  me  in  the  least,  but  took  a 
leap  over  me,  falling  furiously  on  my  poor  horse  and 
beginning  instantly  to  devour  the  animal.  It  was  but 
natural  that  the  horse  ran  the  faster  in  anxious  desire  to 
escape  a  foe  attacking  so  savagely  from  the  rear.  Being 
unnoticed  and  entirely  safe  myself,  I  lifted  my  head  up 
slyly  and  with  surprise  beheld  that  the  wolf  had  already 
half  eaten  my  wildly  galloping  horse.  So  great  was  my 
horror  and  indignation  that  I  fell  upon  him  with  the 
butt  end  of  my  whip.  This  unexpected  attack  from  the 
rear  frightened  the  creature  so  much  that  he  leaped  for- 
ward with  all  his  might  and  hastily  bolted  the  still  un- 
devoured  half  of  my  horse.  In  so  doing,  he  had,  of 
course,  eaten  his  way  into  my  beast's  harness  and  found 
himself  being  properly  drubbed  by  his  new  master.  At 
a  speed  unknown  in  these  parts,  we  arrived  in  full 
career  in  Saint  Petersburg,  each  in  a  manner  unex- 
pected, and  much  to  the  astonishment  of  the  many 
spectators  who  observed  our  entry  into  the  town. 

Thus  ended  another  of  my  adventures.  Though  re- 
markable to  those  of  less  eventful  lives,  I  look  upon  it  as  of 
little  import  compared  with  others  which  I  shall  tell  you. 


> 


>JUr«-    W*0 


HE  HAD,   OF  COURSE,   EATEN  HIS  WAY  INTO   MY   BEAST'S   HARNESS 


CHAPTER  III 


The  Baron's  nose,  a  door-post,  and  a  new  variety  of 
fireworks  —  With  one  shot  marvelously  made  the  Baron 
bags  many  ducks — He  leads  a  blind  sow  home  by  the 
tail  —  of  another;  and  vanquishes  a  wild  boar 


CHAPTER  III 

OU  boys,  who  may  envy  my  adventurous 
life,  will  understand  my  great  desire  to 
join  the  army,  and  you  will  sympathize 
with  my  longing  for  a  commission.  Both 
these  ambitions  were  not  promptly  real- 
ized, and  for  several  months  I  was  per- 
fectly at  liberty  to  spend  my  time  and  money.  Being 
young,  you  may  easily  imagine  that  I  spent  much  of 
both  out  of  town  with  such  gallant  fellows  as  knew  how 
to  make  the  most  of  sports  of  all  kinds  in  an  open  forest 
country. 

One  morning  I  saw  through  the  windows  of  my  bed- 
room that  a  large  pond  not  far  off  was  covered  with 
wild  ducks.  In  an  instant  I  took  my  gun  from  the  cor- 
ner, ran  downstairs  and  out  of  the  house  in  such  blind 
haste  that  I  carelessly  struck  my  face  against  the  door- 
post. Such  was  the  force  of  the  blow  that  sparks  flew 
from  my  eyes,  but  I  assure  you  that  this  did  not  stop 
my  sporting  zeal.  I  soon  came  within  shot  of  the  ducks. 
Leveling  my  fowling-piece  I  observed  to  my  sorrow 
that  the  flint  used  on  all  guns  in  those  days  had  sprung 
from  the  cock  or  hammer.   The  violence  of  the  shock 


2o  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

I  had  received  had  torn  it  from  place.  But  there  was 
no  time  to  be  lost.  I  instantly  remembered  the  effect 
of  a  blow  upon  my  head.  I,  therefore,  hurriedly  opened 
the  powder-pan  of  my  gun,  and  took  careful  aim  at  the 
wild  fowls.  At  the  same  time  with  equal  care  I  leveled  a 
hearty  punch  at  my  right  eye,  which  again  drew  sparks 
no  flint  could  equal.  The  shot  went  off  and  I  killed 
fifty  brace  of  ducks,  twenty  widgeons,  and  three  couple 
of  teals.  Truly,  presence  of  mind  is  the  soul  of  manly 
exercise  and  the  key  to  proper  sportsmanship.  If  sol- 
diers and  sailors  owe  to  it  many  of  their  lucky  escapes, 
hunters  and  sportsmen  are  not  less  beholden  to  it  for 
many  of  their  successes. 

But  it  often  happens  that  chance  or  good  luck  cor- 
rects our  mistakes.  Of  this  I  soon  had  a  fine  example. 
One  day  when  deep  in  the  forest,  I  saw  a  wild  pig  fol- 
lowed so  closely  by  another  that  the  two  seemed  as  one 
only.  I  fired,  but  missed,  for  the  foremost  pig  ran  away 
at  fine  speed,  while  the  latter  stood  motionless  as  if 
fixed  to  the  ground.  On  examining  into  the  matter,  I 
found  the  stationary  animal  was  a  very  ancient  sow, 
blind  with  age,  which  had  taken  hold  of  the  other's  tail 
and  was  thus  led  along  with  great  success.  As  my  bullet 
had  severed  the  guiding  tail,  there  was  naught  to  do 


HIS  TUSKS  PIERCED  THE  TREE 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  21 

but  stop  and  wait  for  the  guiding  pig  to  continue  his 
helpful  offices.  I,  therefore,  laid  hold  of  the  remaining 
end  of  the  pig's  tail  (still  held  firmly  in  the  blind  one's 
jaws)  and  led  the  old  beast  home  without  any  further 
trouble  on  my  part  or  any  objection  on  the  part  of  the 
blind  sow. 

Dangerous  as  these  wild  sows  are,  yet  more  terrible 
and  fierce  are  the  boars,  one  of  which  I  once  had  the 
misfortune  to  meet  in  a  forest  when  I  was  unarmed  and 
unprepared  for  attack  or  defense.  I  retired  behind  an 
oak  tree  just  as  the  furious  animal  leveled  a  side-blow  at 
me  with  such  force  that  his  tusks  pierced  the  tree,  mak- 
ing him  unable  either  to  repeat  the  blow  or  run  away. 

Ho,  ho!  thought  I,  I  shall  soon  have  you  now!  Imme- 
diately I  laid  hold  of  a  stone  with  which  I  hammered 
and  bent  his  tusks  in  such  a  manner  that  he  was  well 
secured  to  the  sturdy  tree-trunk.  He,  therefore,  awaited 
my  return  from  the  nearest  village,  where  I  went  for 
ropes  and  a  cart  to  secure  him  properly  and  carry  him 
off  safe  and  alive,  in  which  I  succeeded  perfectly. 

My  young  Readers  will  doubtless  see  that,  even  in 
the  matter  of  adventures  with  pigs,  the  true  sportsman 
never  forgets  to  be  a  gentleman  in  action  and  a  scholar 
in  thoughtful  proceedings. 


CHAPTER  IV 


The  value  and  great  usefulness  of  presence  of  mind  — 
A  favorite  hound  and  its  virtues  —  The  Baron  is  given  a 
wonderful  horse  with  which  he  performs  remarkable  feats 


CHAPTER  IV 

Y  young  Readers'  minds  and  spirits  are 
awake  to  all  that  pertains  to  adventure  and 
escape.  You  also  are  adventuring  daily, 
either  in  imagination  or  in  fact.  All  my 
narrow  escapes  were  chances  turned  to 
advantage  by  presence  of  mind  and  vigor- 
ous exertion  which  went  hand  in  hand  with  the  wisdom 
of  a  gentleman  and  a  soldier.  I  cannot  bring  too  earnestly 
to  your  youthful  attention  the  constant  need  of  presence 
of  mind  if  you  would  become  fortunate  sportsmen,  brave 
soldiers,  or  fine  sailors. 

But  let  me  add  that  you  would  be  blamable  and 
imprudent  sportsmen,  admirals,  or  generals,  if  you 
allowed  yourselves  to  depend  upon  fortune,  without 
troubling  about  the  instruments  of  success,  such  as  the 
proper  arms,  that  ensure  a  happy  ending  to  all  adven- 
tures. I  have  always  been  remarkable  for  the  excellency 
of  my  horses,  dogs,  guns,  and  swords,  and  for  the 
proper  manner  of  using  and  managing  them.  Upon  the 
whole,  I  may  hope  to  be  remembered  in  the  forest,  upon 
the  turf,  and  in  the  field. 

I  need  not  burden  you  here  with  all  details  of  my 


26  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

stables,  kennel,  or  gun-racks,  but,  injustice  to  the  worthy, 
I  must  mention  a  favorite  greyhound.  I  never  knew  a 
better.  She  grew  old  in  my  service,  and  was  not  re- 
markable for  her  size,  but  rather  for  her  swiftness.  Had 
you  seen  her  you  would  also  have  been  filled  with  admi- 
ration. She  ran  so  fast,  so  much,  and  so  long  in  my 
service  that  she  actually  ran  her  legs  off;  and  in  the 
later  days  of  her  life  I  was  obliged  to  use  her  only  as  a 
terrier.  Having  acquired  the  shortest  legs,  she  was  able 
to  enter  small  holes  and  to  pass  beneath  the  lowest  ob- 
jects without  inconvenience  to  herself.  For  ratting  she 
was  a  marvel,  and  in  this  useful  sport  she  served  me 
many  years. 

I  remember  this,  my  wonderful  hound,  with  the  same 
pleasure  and  tenderness  as  I  do  a  splendid  Lithuanian 
horse  which  no  money  could  have  bought.  He  became 
mine  by  an  accident,  which  gave  me  an  opportunity 
of  showing  my  horsemanship  to  a  great  advantage.  I 
was  at  Count  Przobossky's  noble  country  house  in  Lith- 
uania. I  was  enjoying  tea  with  the  ladies  in  the  draw- 
ing-room while  the  gentlemen  were  down  in  the  stable- 
yard,  looking  over  a  young  horse  of  blood  which  had 
just  arrived.  We  suddenly  heard  a  noise  of  distress.  I 
hastened  downstairs  and  found  the  horse  so  unruly  that 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  27 

nobody  dared  approach  or  mount  him.  The  most  dar- 
ing horsemen  stood  dismayed  and  aghast ;  despondency 
was  expressed  in  every  countenance.  But  I  had  no  fear 
of  the  unmastered  steed.  With  one  leap  I  was  on  his 
back,  and  took  him  so  much  by  surprise  that  I  soon 
worked  him  into  perfect  gentleness  and  obedience,  and 
this  with  the  best  display  of  horsemanship  I  was  mas- 
ter of. 

To  plainly  prove  to  the  ladies  my  skill  and  victory, 
and  at  the  same  time  desiring  to  spare  them  unnecessary 
trouble,  I  made  my  horse  leap  through  one  of  the  open 
windows  of  the  tea-room.  Around  the  room  he  walked, 
paced,  trotted,  and  galloped,  and  at  last  I  made  him 
mount  the  tea-table,  there  to  repeat  his  lessons  in  a  pretty 
style  which  was  exceedingly  pleasing  to  the  ladies,  for  he 
performed  them  amazingly  well  and  did  not  break  either 
cup  or  saucer. 

This  amusing  and  unusual  performance  placed  me 
high  in  their  opinion  and  so  well  in  that  of  my  noble 
host  that,  with  his  usual  politeness,  he  begged  that  I 
would  accept  this  young  horse,  and  ride  him  at  full  speed 
to  conquest  and  honor  in  the  campaign  against  the  Turks 
which  was  soon  to  be  opened  under  command  of  Count 
Munich. 


28  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

I  could  not,  indeed,  have  been  given  a  more  agree- 
able present,  nor  a  more  suitable  one,  at  the  opening 
of  that  campaign  in  which  I  made  my  beginning  as  a 
soldier.  A  horse  so  gentle,  so  spirited,  and  so  fierce,  at 
once  a  lamb  and  a  Bucephalus,1  kept  always  in  mind 
the  deportment  and  duty  of  a  soldier  and  a  gentleman ! 

We  took  the  field  with  the  purpose  of  retrieving  the 
character  of  the  Russian  arms,  which  had  been  some- 
what blemished ;  and  this  we  fully  accomplished  in  sev- 
eral very  fatiguing  but  glorious  campaigns  under  com- 
mand of  that  great  general  I  mentioned  before. 

Modesty  forbids  me  to  claim  for  myself  great  suc- 
cesses or  victories,  the  glory  of  which  is  generally  claimed 
by  the  commander,  or  by  kings,  and  even  queens,  who 
never  smelt  gunpowder.  No,  I  do  not  claim  any  partic- 
ular share  of  glory  in  the  great  battles  with  the  enemy. 
I  did  my  duty  as  a  patriot,  soldier,  and  gentleman,  which 
in  my  esteem  is  the  highest  form  of  action,  be  it  on 
the  stricken  field  or  quiet  fireside. 

However,  having  had  the  command  of  a  body  of 
hussars,  I  went  upon  several  expeditions  with  unques- 
tioned powers.   Our  success  I  think  should  be  placed  to 

1  The  war-horse  of  Alexander  the  Great,  famed   for  his  beauty, 
strength,  and  speed. 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  a9 

my  account  and  to  that  of  the  brave  fellows  whom  I  led 
on  to  conquest  and  victory.  We  had  very  hot  work  once 
in  the  van  of  the  army,  when  we  drove  the  Turks  into 
Oczakow.  My  spirited  Lithuanian  almost  brought  me 
into  a  scrape.  I  had  advanced  considerably  ahead  of  my 
hussars,  and  saw  the  enemy  coming  upon  me  in  a  cloud 
of  dust  which  left  me  rather  uncertain  of  their  actual  num- 
bers and  real  intentions.  To  wrap  myself  in  a  similar 
cloud  was  common  prudence,  but  would  not  have  added 
to  my  knowledge,  or  served  the  end  for  which  I  had  been 
sent  out.  Therefore,  I  let  my  flankers  on  both  wings 
spread  to  right  and  left  and  make  what  dust  they  could, 
but  I  led  on  straight  upon  the  enemy  to  have  a  nearer 
sight  of  them. 

In  this  I  was  much  gratified,  for  they  stood  and 
fought  till,  for  fear  of  my  flankers,  they  began  to  re- 
treat in  a  disorderly  manner.  This  was  the  moment  to 
fall  upon  them  with  spirit.  We  broke  them  entirely, 
made  terrible  havoc  among  them,  and  drove  them,  not 
only  back  to  a  walled  town  in  their  rear,  but  even 
through  the  town,  contrary  to  our  most  sanguine  hopes. 

The  swiftness  of  my  fine  steed  and  my  own  usual 
presence  of  mind  enabled  me  always  to  be  first  in  the 
pursuit  of  our  enemy  who,  I  observed,  was  fairly  flying 


3o  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

through  the  opposite  gate  of  the  city.  I  thought,  how- 
ever, it  would  be  prudent  to  stop  in  the  market-place  to 
order  my  men  into  rest  quarters,  and,  young  Readers, 
there  I  stopped;  but  you  may  judge  of  my  astonish- 
ment when  I  saw  not  one  of  my  hussars  about  me  in 
this  market-place! 

Were  they  scouring  the  other  streets  ?  What  had  be- 
come of  them  ?  They  could  not  be  far  off  and  must 
soon  join  me.  Feeling  sure  of  their  safe  return,  I  walked 
my  panting  horse  to  a  fountain  in  this  market-place  and 
let  him  drink.  He  drank  uncommonly,  and  with  an 
eagerness  not  to  be  satisfied,  and  I  wondered  greatly  at 
the  quantity  of  water  he  disposed  of.  No  wonder,  for 
when  I  looked  around  for  my  men,  what  should  I  see, 
young  Readers  ?  The  hind  part  of  my  noble  beast  was 
missing !  As  fast  as  he ,  drank,  out  poured  the  water. 
Though  not  refreshed,  he  seemed  otherwise  to  suffer  no 
inconvenience.  A  good  horse  is,  indeed,  a  treasure  be- 
yond price. 

How  this  strange  accident  could  have  happened  was 
quite  a  mystery  to  me  till  I  galloped  to  the  town  gate. 
There  I  saw  that,  when  I  rushed  in  after  the  fleeing  en- 
emy, they  had  dropped  the  portcullis  (a  heavy  falling  door, 
let  down  suddenly  to  prevent  the  entrance  of  an  enemy 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  31 

into  a  fortified  town).  This  door,  unperceived  by  me  and 
unknown  to  my  brave  steed,  had  removed  at  one  stroke 
a  full  half  of  him.  But,  unnatural  and  uncalled  for  as  this 
accident  may  seem,  the  loss  was  not  irreparable.  My 
farrier  was  equal  to  the  emergency.  With  great  skill  he 
sewed  the  two  parts  together  with  young  shoots  of  laurel 
which  were  conveniently  at  hand,  and  the  wound  soon 
healed.  The  sprigs  took  root,  grew  up,  and  made  a 
bower  over  me,  so  that  afterwards  I  could  go  upon  many 
other  expeditions  in  the  shade  of  my  own  and  my  horse's 
laurels. 

This  incident  no  doubt  proves  to  you  that  unsought 
laurels  oft  reward  and  crown  those  whose  deeds  justly 
deserve  a  fitting  tribute.  Modesty,  no  matter  how  re- 
tiring, gains  its  rightful  share  of  glory  by  means  unseen 
and  unexpected.  I,  therefore,  recommend  to  those  seek- 
ing praise  that  they  first  find  modesty. 


CHAPTER  V 


The  Baron  is  made  a  prisoner  of  war —  He  keeps  the 
Sultan's  bees  —  He  loses  the  bees,  also  loses  a  silver 
hatchet  on  the  horn  of  the  moon  —  Brings  it  back  by 
an  ingenious  invention  —  The  Baron  falls  to  earth  into 
a  pit  made  by  himself —  Helps  himself  out  of  the  pit  — 
Extricates  himself  from  trouble  by  the  wayside  —  The 
wonderful  effects  of  the  frost  upon  his  servant's  French 
horn 


CHAPTER  V 


WAS  not  always  as  fortunate  as  my  past 
narratives  may  lead  you  to  suppose.  Once 
I  had  the  misfortune  to  be  overpowered 
by  numbers,  and  to  be  made  a  prisoner  of 
war  by  the  Turks,  and,  as  is  always  usual 
among  them,  to  be  sold  for  a  slave.  In  that 
state  of  humiliation  my  daily  task  was  neither  hard  nor 
laborious,  but  rather  singular  and  irksome.  My  work 
was  to  drive  the  Sultan's  bees  to  their  pasture-grounds, 
to  attend  to  them  all  the  day  long,  and  to  drive  them 
back  to  their  hives  before  sunset. 

One  evening  I  missed  a  bee,  and  soon  observed  that 
two  ferocious  bears  had  fallen  upon  her  to  tear  her  to 
pieces  for  the  honey  she  carried.  I  had  no  weapon 
about  me  but  a  small  silver  hatchet,  which  is  the  badge 
of  the  Sultan's  gardeners  and  farmers.  I  threw  this  at 
the  bears  with  the  intention  of  frightening  them  away 
and  setting  the  poor  bee  at  liberty ;  but,  by  an  unlucky 
turn  of  my  arm,  the  hatchet  flew  upwards  and  contin- 
ued rising  till  it  reached  the  moon.  How  should  I  re- 
cover it  ?  Fortunately,  I  recollected  that  the  Turkey-bean 
grows  with  great  rapidity  and  climbs  to  an  astonishing 


36  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

height.  I  planted  a  bean  immediately,  and  it  grew  until 
it  actually  fastened  itself  to  one  of  the  horns  of  the  new 
moon.  I  had  no  more  to  do  now  but  climb  up  by  the 
beanstalk  into  the  moon,  where  I  arrived  safely.  It  was 
a  troublesome  piece  of  business  to  find  my  silver  hatchet 
in  a  place  where  everything  has  the  brightness  of  silver. 
At  last,  however,  I  laid  hold  of  it  in  a  heap  of  chaff  and 
chopped  straw. 

I  was  now  for  returning,  but,  alas !  the  heat  of  the 
sun  had  dried  up  my  beanstalk.  It  was  entirely  useless 
for  my  descent,  but  I  fell  to  work  and  twisted  me  a  long 
rope  of  that  chopped  straw  (an  easy  matter  for  one  of 
my  deftness  and  intelligence).  This  I  fastened  to  one  of 
the  moon's  horns  and  slid  down  to  the  end  of  it.  Here 
I  held  myself  fast  with  the  left  hand,  and,  with  the  hatchet 
in  my  right,  I  cut  the  long  and  now  useless  end  of  the 
upper  part  which,  when  tied  to  the  lower  end  of  the 
upper  part,  brought  me  a  good  deal  nearer  my  journey's 
end.  This  repeated  cutting  and  splicing  and  tying  of 
the  rope  did  not  improve  its  quality,  or  bring  me  down 
to  the  Sultan's  farm.  I  was  still  at  least  four  or  five  miles 
from  the  earth  when  the  rope  broke,  and  I  fell  to  the 
ground  with  such  amazing  violence  that  I  found  myself 
stunned,  and  in  a  hole  fully  fifty-four  feet  deep !    Of 


MY  WORK  WAS  TO  DRIVE  THE  SULTAN  S  BEES  TO  THEIR  PASTURE- 
GROUNDS 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  37 

course,  this  hole  was  made  by  the  weight  of  my  body 
falling  from  so  great  a  height.  I  recovered,  however,  but 
did  not  know  how  to  get  out  of  the  hole  my  unfortunate 
accident  had  caused  to  be  made.  After  some  careful 
thought  and  wise  planning,  I  dug  steps  in  the  earth  with 
my  finger-nails,  which  were  fortunately  both  long  and 
strong,  and  easily  succeeded  in  reaching  the  surface  of 
the  earth. 

Peace  was  soon  after  concluded  with  the  Turks,  and, 
having  gained  my  liberty,  I  left  immediately  for  Saint 
Petersburg.  The  winter  was  then  so  uncommonly  severe 
all  over  Europe  that  ever  since  the  sun  has  seemed  frost- 
bitten. 

My  journey  was  made  by  post,  and,  rinding  myself 
in  a  narrow  lane,  I  bid  the  postilion  give  a  signal  with 
his  horn  so  that  other  travelers  might  not  meet  us  in  the 
narrow  passage.  He  blew  with  all  his  might,  but  in  vain; 
he  could  not  make  the  horn  sound.  What  could  this 
silence  mean,  for  French  horns  are  noted  for  their  ready 
willingness  on  all  occasions  ?  It  was  most  unfortunate,  for 
the  moment  after  we  found  ourselves  facing  another 
coach  coming  in  our  direction.  There  was  no  proceed- 
ing. However,  I  got  out  of  my  carriage,  and,  being 
rather  muscular,  placed  it,  wheels  and  all,  upon  my  head. 


38  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

I  then  jumped  a  hedge  about  nine  feet  high,  which, 
considering  the  weight  of  the  coach,  was  somewhat  dif- 
ficult. But  with  little  trouble  I  landed  in  a  field  and 
came  out  again  by  another  jump  into  the  road  beyond 
the  other  carriage.  I  then  went  back  for  the  horses,  and, 
placing  one  upon  my  head  and  the  other  under  my  left 
arm,  I  brought  them  to  my  coach,  and  proceeded  to  an 
inn  at  the  end  of  our  day's  run. 

I  should  have  told  you  that  the  horse  under  my  left 
arm  was  very  spirited,  being  not  over  four  years  old.  In 
making  my  second  jump  over  the  hedge,  he  showed 
great  dislike  to  that  violent  kind  of  motion  by  kicking 
and  snorting.  However,  I  tucked  his  hind  legs  into  my 
coat  pocket,  and  this  settled  his  uneasiness  completely. 

After  we  arrived  at  the  inn,  my  postilion  and  I  refreshed 
ourselves,  and  he  hung  his  horn  on  a  peg  by  the  kitchen 
fire,  near  which  I  sat.  Suddenly  we  heard  a  tereng! 
tereng  !  teng  !  teng  /  We  looked  around  and  now  found 
the  reason  why  the  postilion  had  not  been  able  to  sound 
his  horn.  His  tunes  were  frozen  up  in  the  instrument, 
and  came  out  now  by  thawing !  All  were  plain,  and 
much  to  the  credit  of  my  driver,  who  could  give  us  vari- 
ous fashionable  airs  without  further  strain  or  effort  to 
himself.   A  little  of  this  music,  however,  was  sufficient, 


I  THEN  JUMPED  A  HEDGE  ABOUT  NINE   FEET  HIGH 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 


39 


for  too  frequent  repetition  of  this  sort  would  become  a 
great  nuisance,  especially  if  frozen  music  was  of  the 
common  sort  My  young  Readers  may  well  be  glad 
that  no  such  soulless  instrument  need  hang  or  stand  by 
their  hearths. 

In  conclusion  of  this  portion  of  my  narrative,  I  wish 
to  state  that  some  travelers  are  inclined  to  tell  more  than 
is  perhaps  strictly  true.  If  you  have  the  slightest  doubt 
of  my  veracity,  I  can  only  say  that  I  pity  your  lack  of 
faith,  and  must  request  that  you  lay  aside  this  chronicle 
before  I  begin  a  still  more  astounding  part  of  my  adven- 
tures, which  are  as  strictly  founded  in  fact  as  those  I  have 
already  related. 


CHAPTER  VI 


The  Baron  takes  a  bath  in  the  Mediterranean  Sea — He 
meets  a  surprising  companion  and  hurries  unexpectedly 
into  heat  and  darkness  —  The  Baron  dances  a  horn- 
pipe with  great  success  —  He  gives  his  deliverers  a  shock 
and  a  surprise  and  returns  to  shore 


CHAPTER  VI 


HE  number  and  variety  of  dangers  to  which 
the  hardy  adventurer  is  ever  exposed  is 
truly  astonishing.  Once  I  was  in  great 
danger  of  being  lost  in  the  Mediterranean 
in  a  singular  and  unexpected  manner.  I 
was  taking  a  bath  one  summer's  day  in 
the  sea  near  Marseilles  when  I  beheld  a  large  fish  ap- 
proaching me  at  great  speed.  His  jaws  were  open 
wide,  and  I  was  directly  in  his  path.  There  was  no 
time  to  be  lost,  nor  could  I  see  any  way  to  avoid  him. 
With  all  possible  speed  I  made  myself  as  small  as  might 
be  by  putting  my  feet  together  and  placing  my  hands 
close  to  my  sides.  In  this  position  I  had  no  difficulty 
in  passing  between  his  great  jaws,  and  from  this  horrible 
portal  directly  into  his  stomach. 

The  place  was  exceedingly  dark,  but  comfortably 
warm,  as  you  may  easily  imagine.  I  was,  indeed,  a  pris- 
oner, with  scant  hopes  of  escape.  At  last  it  occurred  to 
me  that,  by  giving  him  food  for  thought  of  an  unusual 
kind,  he  might  be  made  glad  to  be  rid  of  me.  As  I  had 
plenty  of  room,  I  hit  upon  certain  pranks  that  would 
surely  set  the  creature  to  serious  thinking,  if  not  consid- 


44  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

erable  action.  Accordingly  I  set  to  jumping,  hopping, 
and  skipping  with  great  energy  and  athletic  skill,  and  at 
last  I  fell  to  dancing  the  hornpipe.  The  quick  motion 
of  my  feet  in  this  active  dance  seemed  to  disturb  him  con- 
siderably, for  his  sudden  fits  and  starts  put  me  out  of 
step.  I  continued  my  steps  with  renewed  energy  and 
grace  until  he  roared  horribly  and  stood  up  almost  per- 
pendicularly in  the  water,  with  his  head  and  shoulders 
exposed.  By  this  action  he  was  discovered  by  sailors  on 
board  an  Italian  trading  ship  that  chanced  to  be  passing, 
and  was  at  once  harpooned. 

As  soon  as  he  was  hauled  upon  the  ship's  deck,  I  heard 
the  crew  consulting  how  they  should  best  cut  him  up  to 
preserve  the  greatest  quantity  of  oil.  I  understood  Italian 
and  had  the  most  horrible  fears  lest  their  knives  used  in 
this  business  should  destroy  me  also.  Therefore,  I  stood 
as  near  the  center  of  the  creature  as  possible,  for  there 
was  room  for  a  dozen  men  in  this  monster's  insides.  In 
this  position  I  hoped  to  be  fairly  safe,  for  I  believed  the 
sailors  would  begin  their  carving  at  one  or  the  other  end 
of  the  fish. 

My  fears  for  my  own  safety,  however,  were  soon  re- 
lieved, when  I  saw  their  operations  begun  at  a  consider- 
able distance  from  the  position  I  had  taken.   Presently  I 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  45 

perceived  a  glimmering  of  light,  and  I  called  out  lustily 
to  be  delivered  from  a  situation  in  which  I  was  now  almost 
suffocated. 

It  is  not  possible  for  me  to  give  you  an  idea  of  the 
astonishment  which  sat  upon  every  face  at  hearing  a  voice 
come  from  a  fish,  but  more  so  at  seeing  a  man  walk  up- 
right from  the  creature's  carcass. 

Of  course,  I  immediately  told  the  sailors  the  whole 
story  as  I  have  told  it  to  you,  my  young  Readers,  and 
amazement  struck  them  dumb. 

After  taking  some  much-needed  refreshment,  I  jumped 
into  the  sea  to  be  rid  of  the  odor  offish  which  had  always 
been  displeasing  to  my  rather  refined  and  sensitive  nostrils. 
With  feelings  of  joy  I  swam  to  my  clothes,  which  lay  on  the 
shore  where  I  had  left  them  four  and  a  half  hours  before. 

Thus  ended  an  adventure  which  added  to  the  sum  of 
my  many  strange  experiences  and  convinced  me  that  a 
knowledge  of  lively  steps  of  the  dance  might  serve  a  sol- 
dier and  gentleman  as  well  as  a  humble  mariner. 

Therefore,  let  us  not  scorn  manners  and  customs  of 
those  accounted  beneath  us.  Adventure  may  at  any  mo- 
ment place  us  in  dilemmas  when  the  minuet  would  serve 
us  naught,  while  the  lively  but  humble  hornpipe  would 
set  our  feet  on  the  road  to  deliverance  and  safety. 


CHAPTER  VII 


The  Baron's  adventures  in  Turkey,  and  upon  the  river 
Nile  —  He  sees  a  balloon  over  Constantinople;  shoots 
at  and  brings  it  down ;  finds  an  aerial  traveler  hanging 
from  it — The  Baron  goes  to  Cairo  on  a  secret  mission 
and  returns  by  way  of  the  Nile  —  He  is  thrown  into  an 
unexpected  dilemma  and  detained  six  weeks 


CHAPTER  VII 


T  is  good  for  those  of  mature  years,  as 
well  as  for  youth,  to  enjoy  the  benefits  of 
proper  recreation.  When  in  the  service 
of  the  Turks,  I  found  much  satisfaction 
and  benefit  in  boating.  One  morning, 
as  my  pleasure-barge  drifted  on  the  calm 
waters  of  the  Sea  of  Marmora  and  I  was  admiring  the 
beauty  and  serenity  of  the  sky,  I  observed  a  round  object 
in  the  air,  far  above  me.  It  appeared  to  be  about  the  size 
of  a  twelve-inch  globe  with  something  hanging  from  it. 
I  immediately  seized  my  largest  fowling-piece,  from 
which  I  never  allow  myself  to  be  separated  if  I  can  help 
it.  With  the  utmost  speed  I  loaded  with  ball  and  let  fly 
at  the  globe,  but  to  no  purpose,  the  object  being  at  too 
great  a  distance.  I  then  put  in  a  double  charge  of  pow- 
der and  five  or  six  balls.  This  second  attempt  suc- 
ceeded; my  shot  took  effect  and  tore  one  side  open, 
instantly  bringing  down  my  strange  quarry.  Judge  my 
surprise  when  a  most  elegant  gilt  car,  or  balloon  basket, 
with  a  man  in  it,  fell  within  a  few  yards  of  me.  Along 
with  the  man  was  part  of  a  roast  sheep.  When  I  had 
recovered  in  some  degree  from  my  astonishment,  I  or- 


5o  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

dered  my  oarsman  to  row  close  to  this  strange  aerial 
traveler. 

I  took  this  person  aboard  and  found  him  to  be  con- 
fused and  much  put  out  by  his  sudden  fall  into  the  sea. 
In  time,  however,  he  recovered  his  wits  sufficiently  to 
give  the  following  account  of  himself: 

"About  seven  or  eight  days  ago  I  ascended  in  my 
balloon  from  Land's  End  in  Cornwall,  England.  With 
me  I  took  a  sheep  for  company.  Unfortunately,  the 
wind  changed  within  ten  minutes  after  my  ascent,  and, 
instead  of  driving  inland  as  I  had  hoped  and  planned 
for,  I  was  driven  out  to  sea,  over  which  I  suppose  I  have 
continued  ever  since.  Being  continually  at  such  great 
height,  I  could  make  no  observations. 

"  The  gnawing  call  of  hunger  pressed  me  and  I  was 
obliged  on  the  third  day  of  my  flight  to  kill  my  sheep 
for  food.  I  was  at  that  time  far  above  the  moon,  and  for 
over  sixteen  hours  after  I  was  so  near  the  sun  that  it 
scorched  my  eyebrows  and  singed  my  beard,  of  which 
I  am  justly  proud.  After  first  skinning  my  sheep,  and 
taking  care  to  place  it  where  the  balloon  did  not  shade 
it  from  the  sun,  I  provided  well-roasted  mutton  in  about 
two  hours.  This  has  been  my  only  food  ever  since.  The 
cause  of  my  long  flight  was  due  to  the  failure  of  a  string 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  51 

which  was  fixed  to  a  valve  in  the  balloon.  Sir,  I  owe  my 
rescue  to  your  marksmanship.  Had  you  not  fired  at 
and  rent  a  hole  in  the  balloon,  I  might,  like  Mahomet, 
have  been  suspended  between  heaven  and  earth  till 
doomsday." 

What  later  befell  this  aerial  adventurer  I  have  no  mem- 
ory. Allow  me  to  continue  upon  other  subjects  of  greater 
import.  The  Grand  Seignior  of  Constantinople  soon 
employed  me  to  negotiate  a  matter  of  great  importance 
at  Cairo.  I  cannot  reveal  my  errand,  for  it  was  of  such 
a  nature  that  it  must  ever  remain  a  secret. 

I  journeyed  in  great  state  by  land,  and,  having  com- 
pleted the  business  entrusted  to  me  with  tact  and  great 
wisdom,  I  dismissed  all  but  a  few  attendants  and  started 
homeward  in  the  guise  of  a  private  gentleman.  The 
weather  was  delightful,  and  that  famous  river,  the  Nile, 
was  beautiful  beyond  all  description.  In  short,  I  was 
tempted  to  make  my  journey  by  barge,  and  descend  the 
river  to  Alexandria. 

On  the  third  day  of  my  voyage  the  river  began  to 
rise  most  amazingly.  Of  course,  you  have  heard  of  the 
annual  overflow  of  the  Nile.  The  next  day  it  covered 
the  whole  country  for  many  leagues  on  each  side !  On 
the  fifth  day  at  sunrise  my  boat  became  entangled  with 


52  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

what  I  first  took  for  shrubs,  but  as  the  light  grew 
stronger,  I  discovered  myself  to  be  surrounded  by 
almonds,  which  were  perfectly  ripe  and  in  the  highest 
perfection. 

Upon  casting  out  a  line  and  lead,  my  people  found 
we  were  at  least  sixty  feet  from  the  ground  and  unable 
to  advance  or  retreat.  At  eight  or  nine  o'clock,  the  wind 
suddenly  rose,  and  tilted  our  barge  over  on  one  side, 
spilling  us  all  into  the  water.  Fortunately,  we  saved  our- 
selves (six  men  and  two  boys)  by  clinging  to  the  tree. 
In  this  situation  we  continued  for  six  weeks  and  three 
days,  living  upon  almonds.  I  need  not  inform  you  that 
we  had  plenty  of  water.  On  the  forty-second  day  of  our 
distress  the  water  fell  as  suddenly  as  it  had  risen,  and  on 
the  forty-sixth  day  we  were  able  to  venture  down  to  firm 
earth.  Our  barge  was  the  first  and  most  pleasing  object 
we  saw,  about  two  hundred  yards  from  the  spot  where 
she  sunk.  After  drying  everything  that  was  useful  by 
the  heat  of  the  sun,  and  loading  ourselves  with  necessary 
stores,  we  set  out  to  recover  lost  ground.  We  found  by 
the  closest  calculations  that  we  had  been  carried  over 
garden  walls  and  all  kinds  of  enclosures  fully  a  hundred 
and  fifty  miles  into  the  interior  country. 

In  four  days,  after  a  very  tiresome  journey  on  foot, 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 


S3 


with  thin  shoes,  we  reached  the  river  which  was  now 
confined  to  its  banks.  In  six  days  more  we  arrived  at 
Alexandria,  where  we  took  ship  for  Constantinople. 

I  was  kindly  received  by  the  Grand  Seignior,  who 
commended  me  for  the  valor,  foresight,  and  gallant  en- 
durance a  gentleman  always  displays  in  times  of  distress 
and  difficulty. 


*•>%. 

im 


CHAPTER  VIII 


The  Baron  crosses  the  Thames  without  bridge  or  boat  or 
balloon  or  even  his  own  will — He  rouses  from  a  long 
nap — He  destroys  a  monster —  The  Baron  tells  of  im- 
portant adventures —  He  visits  Mount  iEtna  and  drops 
in  upon  Vulcan  and  Cyclops  —  He  is  rudely  dismissed, 
and  falls  through  the  earth  to  the  South  Sea 


CHAPTER  VIII 


EFORE  relating  to  my  young  Readers  in 
this  chapter  a  series  of  adventures  of  great 
importance,  I  desire  to  tell  of  one  that  is 
more  amusing  than  necessary  to  my  vera- 
cious chronicle. 
On  one  of  my  first  visits  to  England, 
I  had  occasion  to  go  down  to  Wapping  to  see  some 
goods  that  I  was  sending  to  friends  in  Hamburg.  After 
that  business  was  over,  I  took  the  Tower  Wharf  on  my 
way  back.  Here  I  found  the  sun  very  powerful,  and  I 
was  so  much  fatigued  that  I  stepped  into  one  of  the  can- 
nons to  rest  and  compose  myself.  At  about  noon  I  fell 
fast  asleep.  At  one  o'clock  all  the  Tower  Wharf  cannons 
were  discharged.  They  had  all  been  loaded  that  morn- 
ing, but  of  this  I  had  no  knowledge  or  suspicion.  The 
combined  report  of  the  many  pieces  was  terrific.  I  was 
shot  from  my  own  particular  gun,  over  houses,  trees, 
and  walls  on  the  opposite  side  of  the  river,  into  a  farm- 
er's yard. 

I  fell  upon  a  large  haystack  without  waking ;  indeed, 
I  continued  there  in  sound  sleep  for  three  months.  At 
the  end  of  this  time  hay  became  so  very  dear  that  the 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 


farmer  found  it  to  his  interest  to  send  his  stock  to  mar- 
ket. The  stack  I  was  reposing  upon  was  the  largest  in 
the  yard  and  this  was  the  one  they  began  to  load  first. 

I  was  awakened  by  the  voices  of  the  people  who  had 
ascended  the  ladders  to  begin  removing  the  hay  from  the 
top  of  the  stack.  I  got  up  hastily,  totally  ignorant  of  my 
situation.  So  great  was  my  surprise  that,  in  an  attempt 
to  run  away,  I  fell  upon  the  farmer  to  whom  the  hay  be- 
longed with  such  force  and  weight  that  he  was  instantly 
killed.  I  sustained  no  injuries,  however,  but  might  have 
felt  the  pangs  of  regret  had  I  not  learned  that  this  fellow 
was  a  most  detestable  character,  always  keeping  the  prod- 
uce of  his  farm  for  extravagant  market  prices  and  until 
his  neighbors  could  ill  afford  to  pay  what  he  exacted. 

I  will  now  pass  on  to  the  more  serious  and  important 
adventures  mentioned  at  the  outset  of  this  chapter.  I  do 
so  with  pleasure,  knowing  that  my  young  Readers  will 
be  benefited,  not  only  by  what  they  add  to  their  store 
of  useful  knowledge,  but  by  the  exercise  of  imagination 
they  will  have  in  following  adventures  so  marvelous  and 
enlightening. 

After  reading  Mr.  Brydone's  "  Travels  in  Sicily  "  with 
great  pleasure,  I  determined  to  pay  a  visit  myself  to 
Mount  JEtna.   My  voyage  there  brought  no  experience 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  59 

worth  mentioning.  One  morning,  three  or  four  days 
after  my  arrival,  I  set  out  on  foot,  determined  to  explore 
the  internal  parts  of  the  mountain,  even  if  I  perished  in 
the  attempt. 

After  three  hours  of  the  most  difficult  climbing,  I 
found  myself  at  the  top.  The  mountain  was  then,  and 
had  been  for  over  three  weeks,  in  violent  eruption.  I 
walked  around  the  edge  of  the  crater,  making  such  ob- 
servations as  were  possible.  Not  being  satisfied,  and 
desiring  a  closer  view  of  the  inner  workings  of  the  vol- 
cano, I  jumped  into  the  crater,  of  course,  feet  foremost. 

'T  is  needless  to  tell  you  that  I  soon  found  myself  in 
a  warm  berth,  in  which  my  body  was  bruised  and  burned 
in  many  places  by  the  red-hot  cinders  which  rose  with 
terrific  violence  and  opposed  my  descent.  However,  my 
weight  soon  brought  me  to  the  bottom  of  the  crater, 
where  I  found  myself  in  the  midst  of  great  noise  and 
clamor,  mixed  with  the  turmoil  of  enraged  voices.  Im- 
agine, young  Readers,  my  astonishment  when  I  found 
that  I  was  in  the  company  of  Vulcan  and  his  Cyclops.  I 
had  rudely  broken  into  their  workshop  as  a  violent  quarrel 
was  at  its  height.  This  trouble  had  lasted  for  three  weeks, 
which  accounted  for  the  continued  volcanic  eruptions 
seen  and  felt  by  the  outer  world.   Upon  my  arrival,  peace 


6o  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 


was  restored,  and  Vulcan  himself  did  me  the  honor  of 
applying  plasters  to  my  wounds,  which  healed  immedi- 
ately. 

Vulcan  then  gave  me  a  very  brief  but  clear  account 
of  Mount  JEtna,  which  he  said  was,  in  truth,  nothing 
more  than  a  big  pile  of  ashes  thrown  from  his  forge. 
He  was  often  obliged  to  punish  his  fellow-workers,  at 
whom  he  made  it  a  practice  to  throw  red-hot  coals.  His 
people  dodged  and  parried  his  missiles  with  great  dex- 
terity, or  threw  the  pieces  up  into  the  world  to  put  them 
beyond  their  master's  reach. 

"  Our  quarrels/'  added  Vulcan,  "  sometimes  last  three 
or  four  months,  and  these  appearances  of  lava  and  cin- 
ders in  the  world  above  are  what  you  mortals  call  erup- 
tions. Mount  Vesuvius  is  another  of  my  workshops.  I 
have  a  passage  under  the  sea  leading  directly  to  it,  where 
frequently  quarrels  occur  like  to  the  one  you  have  just 
seen,  causing  similar  eruptions." 

You  can  readily  understand  that  one  of  my  adventur- 
ous turn  found  Vulcan  not  only  a  sympathetic  compan- 
ion, but  a  stalwart  champion  of  my  powers  and  wisdom. 
I  should  have  continued  in  his  shops  as  an  attendant  had 
not  some  jealous  tattlers,  who  delighted  in  mischief, 
whispered  a  false  tale  in  Vulcan's  ear.    He  was  roused  to 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  61 

a  fit  of  anger  not  to  be  appeased.  Without  the  least 
notice,  he  took  me  under  his  arm  and  carried  me  to 
what  appeared  to  be  a  well  with  a  wide  mouth.  Over 
this  he  held  me  at  arm's  length,  saying,  "  Ungrateful 
mortal^  return  to  the  world  whence  you  came" 

Without  giving  me  the  least  opportunity  to  reply,  he 
dropped  me  down  the  center  of  the  well.  I  found  my- 
self falling  with  increasing  speed,  till  horror  and  fright 
deprived  me  of  my  senses.  I  did  not  recover  until  I 
plunged  into  a  large  body  of  water  lighted  by  the  rays 
of  the  sun. 


CHAPTER  IX 


The  Baron  takes  an  unexpected  plunge  —  Arrives  on 
an  island  of  cheese,  surrounded  by  milk — The  Baron 
tells  of  extraordinary  objects  —  The  trees  pay  tribute  to 
the  Baron  and  his  party 


CHAPTER  IX 


HE  plunge  I  so  hastily  made  was  indeed 
more  surprising  to  me  than  the  telling 
of  it  could  possibly  be  to  you,  my  admir- 
ing Readers.  From  my  earliest  infancy, 
I  was  a  remarkable  swimmer  and  was 
skilled  in  many  water  tricks.  I  found  my- 
self in  a  cooling  paradise,  considering  the  horrors  I  had 
just  been  released  from.  Looking  about  me,  I  could 
see  nothing  but  a  vast  expanse  of  sea,  spreading  forth 
in  every  direction.  I  also  found  my  moist  surround- 
ings very  cold  compared  with  Master  Vulcan's  work- 
shop. 

At  last  I  observed  at  some  distance  an  object  of  amaz- 
ing magnitude,  like  a  huge  rock,  approaching  me,  and 
presently  discovered  it  to  be  a  mass  of  floating  ice.  I 
swam  around  it  till  I  came  to  a  spot  where  I  could  ascend 
to  the  top,  which  I  did,  but  not  without  some  difficulty. 
I  was  still  out  of  sight  of  land,  and  despair  filled  me 
with  dreadful  thoughts.  However,  before  night  came  on 
I  saw  a  sail,  which  my  mountain  of  ice  approached  with 
great  speed.  When  within  a  very  short  distance,  I  hailed 
the  ship  in  German.   They  answered  in  Dutch.   I  then 


66  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

flung  myself  into  the  sea,  and  was  promptly  hauled  on 
board.  I  now  inquired  where  we  were,  and  was  told  that 
we  were  in  the  great  Southern  Ocean.  Marvelous !  It  was 
evident  that  I  had  dropped  from  Mount  iEtna  through 
the  center  of  the  earth,  and  had  come  out  at  the  South 
Sea !  With  the  Captain's  permission,  I  took  some  refresh- 
ments and  a  rest,  which  no  one  doubted  I  fully  de- 
served. 

Our  ship  was,  at  that  time,  exactly  in  Captain  Cook's 
first  track,  and  we  arrived  next  morning  at  Botany 
Bay,  a  place  favored  by  the  English  as  a  haven  for 
all  sorts  of  felons.  We  remained  here  but  seventy-two 
hours.  On  the  fourth  day  after  our  departure,  a  most 
dreadful  storm  arose  which  soon  destroyed  all  our  sails, 
splintered  our  bowsprit,  and  brought  down  the  topmast, 
which  fell  upon  the  box  that  held  our  compass,  shatter- 
ing both  beyond  repair.  We  were  now  at  a  loss  where 
to  steer.  At  length  the  storm  abated,  but  a  steady  and 
brisk  gale  followed  that  drove  us  at  least  forty  knots  an 
hour  for  six  months  ! 

After  this  we  noted  an  amazing  change  in  our  sur- 
roundings. Our  spirits  grew  light  as  our  noses  were  re- 
galed with  the  most  delightful  odors  imaginable.  The 
sea  had  changed  in  color  from  its  natural  blue,  or  deep 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  67 

green,  to  white!  Very  soon  after  these  wonderful 
changes,  we  saw  land  and  a  safe  inlet  at  no  great  dis- 
tance. Up  this  inlet  we  sailed  for  nearly  sixty  leagues, 
and  found  it  always  wide  and  deep,  flowing  with  milk 
of  the  most  delicious  taste. 

It  was  finally  decided  that  we  should  land.  We  then 
found  the  place  to  be  an  island  consisting  of  one  large 
cheese.  The  composition  of  the  island  might  not  have 
become  known  (many  of  our  party  being  Dutch")  had 
not  one  of  our  men  fainted  the  moment  we  came  ashore. 
This  man  always  had  a  great  dislike  for  cheese  and  was 
most  sensitive  to  its  odor  or  proximity.  Upon  regaining 
his  senses,  he  insisted  upon  our  removing  the  cheese 
that  clung  like  mud  upon  his  feet.  After  careful  exam- 
ination we  found  him  to  be  entirely  right,  for  the  whole 
island,  as  I  have  before  told  you,  was  nothing  but  a 
cheese  of  immense  magnitude.  Therefore,  we  cannot 
say  that  those  sensitive  to  the  aroma  of  cheese  are  useless 
in  fields  of  science  and  discovery.  For  myself,  however, 
I  commend  those  robust  natures  and  noses  that  remain 
unmoved  and  undaunted  under  all  stress,  whether  it  be 
the  odor  of  cheese  or  the  rigor  of  battle. 

On  this  island  of  cheese  the  natives  are  very  numer- 
ous, and  their  principal  food  is  the  island  itself.   This 


68  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

they  consume  in  great  quantities,  but  the  eaten  part 
grows  again  at  night  as  fast  as  it  is  consumed  by  day. 
There  seemed  to  be  plenty  of  vines,  with  bunches  of 
large  grapes  which,  upon  being  pressed,  yielded  noth- 
ing but  milk.  We  saw  the  inhabitants  running  races 
upon  the  surface  of  the  milk.  They  did  not  sink  at  all, 
but  ran  and  walked  upon  this  delicate  liquid  as  we  do 
upon  a  lawn  or  bowling-green.  They  were  upright  and 
comely  figures,  nine  feet  high,  with  three  legs  and  but 
one  arm.  Upon  the  whole  they  are  graceful  in  form  and 
carriage. 

Among  the  many  marvels  of  this  island,  there  grows 
a  great  plenty  of  corn,  the  ears  of  which  produce  loaves 
of  bread,  baked,  and  ready  for  eating. 

After  thirty-eight  days  of  tedious  journey,  we  arrived 
on  the  side  of  the  island  opposite  to  that  on  which  we 
had  landed.  There  we  found,  much  to  the  delight  of 
some  of  our  party,  great  quantities  of  blue-mould  from 
which  sprang  all  kinds  of  rich  fruit,  such  as  peaches, 
apricots,  nectarines,  and  many  other  delicious  fruits  with 
which  we  were  not  acquainted. 

In  the  fruit  trees,  which  are  of  great  size,  there  were 
many  birds'  nests,  among  them  a  kingfisher's  nest  of 
enormous  size-   It  was  at  least  as  large  as  the  dome  of 


WITH  GREAT  DIFFICULTY  WE  CUT  OPEN  ONE  OF  THESE  EGGS 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  69 

Saint  Paul's  Church  in  London.  We  found  upon  inspec- 
tion that  this  nest  was  made  of  huge  trees  curiously- 
woven  together.  There  were  —  let  me  see  (for  I  make  it 
a  rule  always  to  speak  with  exactness}  —  there  were 
over  five  hundred  eggs  in  this  nest,  and  each  was  as  large 
as  eight  barrels.  We  could  not  only  see  the  young  birds 
within  the  eggs,  but  plainly  hear  their  chirping.  With 
great  difficulty  we  cut  open  one  of  these  eggs,  and  let 
out  an  unfeathered  young  one.  He  was  much  larger  than 
twenty  full-grown  vultures. 

Just  as  we  had  given  this  youngster  his  freedom,  the 
mother  kingfisher  lighted,  and,  seizing  our  Captain  in 
one  of  her  claws,  flew  with  him  more  than  a  mile  into 
the  air.  After  a  few  turns  in  mid-air  she  let  the  Captain 
drop  into  the  sea,  but  not  till  she  had  very  thoroughly 
cuffed  his  ears  with  her  wings.  Dutchmen  are  natural 
floaters,  and  often  good  swimmers,  and  the  victim  of 
Mistress  Kingfisher's  wrath  soon  joined  us. 

On  our  return  trip,  we  took  a  different  route.  When 
we  had  come  within  two  days' journey  of  our  ship,  we 
observed  three  men  hanging  by  their  heels  to  a  tall  tree. 
Asking  the  cause  of  their  punishment,  I  was  told  that 
they  had  all  been  travelers,  and  upon  their  return  home 
had  deceived  their  friends  by  describing   people   and 


7° 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 


places  they  had  really  never  seen,  also  relating  things 
that  had  never  happened.  This  gave  me  no  concern,  as 
I  have  ever  confined  myself  to  facts. 

As  soon  as  we  arrived  on  board  ship,  we  weighed 
anchor  and  set  sail  from  this  extraordinary  country.  As 
we  drew  away  from  the  island,  all  the  trees  upon  the 
shore  paid  their  respects  to  us  twice,  bowing  in  exact 
time,  and  immediately  taking  their  former  posture  again, 
which  was  quite  erect. 

From  all  that  we  could  learn  of  this  cheese,  it  was 
considerably  larger  than  the  continent  of  Europe ! 


CHAPTER  X 


The  Baron's  ship  passes  between  the  teeth  of  a  fish  un- 
known in  this  part  of  the  world  —  They  have  great  diffi- 
culty in  escaping  from  the  interior  regions  of  this  mon- 
ster—  They  arrive  in  the  Caspian  Sea — The  Baron 
starves  a  bear  —  A  marvelous  waistcoat 


CHAPTER  X 


EING  still  without  a  compass,  we  sailed 
whither  we  knew  not  for  three  months. 
These  were  dreary  days,  indeed,  until  we 
arrived  in  a  sea  that  appeared  to  be  almost 
black.  Upon  tasting  the  water,  we  found 
it  to  be  a  most  excellent  wine,  and  much 
trouble  we  had  keeping  the  sailors  from  too  frequent 
drafts  of  a  beverage  so  close  at  hand  and  abundant. 

In  a  few  hours,  however,  our  attention  was  drawn  to 
vast  numbers  of  whales  and  other  creatures  of  enormous 
size,  which  completely  surrounded  us.  One  of  these 
monsters  was  far  too  large  for  the  eye  to  judge  of,  or  for 
human  mind  to  comprehend.  Since  we  did  not  see  him 
until  we  were  very  close  to  his  enormous  and  wide-open 
jaws,  our  ship,  with  all  masts  standing  and  with  sails 
full  set,  was  drawn  straight  into  his  mouth.  Inward  we 
passed  between  his  teeth,  which  were  much  larger  and 
taller  than  the  masts  of  a  fourth-rate  man-of-war. 

After  we  had  been  in  his  mouth  some  time,  he  opened 
it  very  wide,  took  in  an  immense  quantity  of  water  and 
floated  our  vessel  (which  was  of  no  mean  size)  down 
into  his  stomach.   Here  we  lay  as  quiet  as  at  anchor  in  a 


74  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

dead  calm.  The  air  about  us  was  rather  warm  and  not 
as  fragrant  as  might  be  desired,  but,  having  recently  ex- 
perienced the  zephyrs  of  Cheese  Island,  we  found  lit- 
tle difficulty  in  becoming  accustomed  to  the  atmosphere 
of  our  captor's  interior  regions. 

Hardy  endurance,  learned  early,  never  succumbs. 
Cheerful  hardihood  ever  enlivens  serious  endeavor: 
Maxims  such  as  these  are  worthy  of  thoughtful  consid- 
eration by  young  and  old. 

We  soon  discovered  that  the  creature  in  whom  we 
were  imprisoned  had  swallowed  anchors,  cables,  boats, 
and  barges  in  abundance,  and  also  a  number  of  ships, 
some  laden  and  some  not.  Of  course,  we  were  in  com- 
plete darkness,  and  everything  had  to  be  done  by  torch- 
light. There  was  no  sun,  no  moon,  no  planet,  from  which 
to  make  observations.  Everything  was  afloat  or  aground 
twice  a  day ;  when  the  creature  drank,  it  became  high 
water ;  and  again  we  found  ourselves  stranded  high  out 
of  water. 

On  the  second  day  of  our  confinement  in  these  re- 
gions of  darkness,  I  ventured,  at  low  water  as  we  called 
it,  to  ramble  with  the  Captain  and  a  few  of  the  other 
officers.  All  of  our  party  carried  torchlights.  We  met 
with  people  of  all  nations,  to  the  number  of  about  ten 


OUR  SHIP,   WITH  ALL  MASTS  STANDING  AND  WITH   SAILS   FULL   SET,  WAS 
DRAWN   STRAIGHT  INTO  HIS  MOUTH 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  75 

thousand.  We  found  that  they  were  going  to  hold  a 
council  to  discover  how  to  recover  their  liberty.  Some 
of  these  poor  prisoners  had  been  in  the  animal's  stomach 
several  years.  I  was  chosen  chairman,  and  the  first  thing 
I  did  was  to  propose  splicing  two  mainmasts  together, 
and,  the  next  time  the  whale  opened  his  mouth,  to  be 
ready  to  wedge  them  in  between  his  jaws,  and  so  pre- 
vent his  shutting  them.  My  plan  was  unanimously  ap- 
proved. 

One  hundred  stout  men  were  chosen  for  this  service, 
and  we  had  scarcely  prepared  our  masts  properly  when 
our  opportunity  came.  The  monster  opened  his  mouth, 
and  immediately  the  top  of  the  mast  was  placed  against 
the  upper  jaw  and  the  other  end  upon  the  lower.  In 
this  way  we  prevented  the  shutting  of  the  animal' s  mouth. 

As  soon  as  everything  in  his  inside  region  was  well 
afloat,  we  manned  a  few  boats  and  rowed  ourselves  into 
the  light  of  the  outer  world.  The  daylight,  after  three 
months'  confinement  in  total  darkness,  cheered  our  spir- 
its surprisingly.  When  we  had  taken  leave  of  this  enor- 
mous animal,  we  mustered  a  fleet  of  ninety-five  ships, 
all  of  which  had  been  in  this  confined  situation. 

Having  gained  our  liberty,  our  first  object  was  to 
discover  what  part  of  the  world  we  were  in.   At  last  it 


76  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

was  learned  that  we  were  in  the  Caspian  Sea  !  How  we 
came  here  it  was  impossible  to  understand,  this  sea,  as 
you  know,  having  no  communication  with  any  other 
great  body  of  water.  One  of  the  inhabitants  of  Cheese 
Island,  who  accompanied  me  as  a  body-servant,  accounted 
for  it  thus :  the  monster,  in  whose  stomach  we  had  been 
so  long  confined,  had  carried  us  here  by  way  of  some 
underground  passage.  However,  we  pushed  to  shore, 
and  I  was  the  first  who  landed. 

Just  as  I  put  my  foot  upon  the  ground,  a  large  bear 
leaped  upon  me  with  his  front  paws.  I  caught  one  in 
each  hand,  and  squeezed  them  both  so  that  he  cried  out 
lustily.  In  self-defense  I  was  obliged  to  hold  him  thus 
until  he  starved  to  death.  It  is  seldom  that  I  am  com- 
pelled to  take  such  advantage  of  an  adversary,  but  you 
must  acknowledge  that  the  bear  gave  me  good  cause  for 
my  action. 

From  this  place  I  journeyed  to  Saint  Petersburg  a 
second  time.  Here  an  old  friend  gave  me  a  most  ex- 
cellent pointer.  I  had  the  misfortune,  however,  soon  to 
lose  this  fine  dog  through  a  blundering  sportsman,  who 
fired  at  him  instead  of  a  covey  of  partridges.  From  the 
faithful  creature's  skin  I  had  a  waistcoat  made,  which 
always  leads  me  to  game  if  I  go  hunting  in  the  proper 


SQUEEZED  THEM  BOTH  SO  THAT  HE  CRIED  OUT  LUSTILY 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  77 

season.  When  I  come  within  shot,  one  of  the  buttons 
flies  off  and  lodges  upon  the  spot  where  the  game  is; 
when  the  birds  rise  I  never  miss  them. 

One  day  a  covey  of  partridges  rose  after  a  button  had 
fallen  amongst  them.  They  came  from  the  ground  in  a 
line,  one  before  the  other,  and  flew  directly  towards  me. 
I  had  loaded  my  gun,  but  had  forgotten  to  remove  my 
ramrod.  I  fired,  and  the  ramrod  passed  straight  through 
the  birds,  the  rod  being  so  hot  from  the  burning  powder 
that  my  leash  of  birds  was  completely  roasted  before  I 
reached  home. 

Thus,  my  young  Readers,  ends  another  chapter  of 
my  remarkable  adventures.  I  have  related  all  with  a  strict 
regard  for  truth,  and  a  great  desire  that  my  courage  and 
endurance  may  serve  as  an  example  to  you,  should  sim- 
ilar adventures  come  to  you  now  or  hereafter. 


CHAPTER  XI 


The  Baron  pays  a  visit  during  the  siege  of  Gibraltar  — 
Sinks  a  Spanish  man-of-war  —  Destroys  all  the  enemy's 
cannon  —  Saves  the  lives  of  two  English  officers  with  a 
marvelous  sling  and  raises  the  siege 


CHAPTER  XI 


AM  sure  my  young  Readers  will  be 
pleased  with  this  chapter  of  my  adven- 
tures in  which  I  relate  further  experiences 
in  my  career  as  a  soldier.  During  the 
siege  of  Gibraltar,  I  sailed  with  Lord  Rod- 
ney's fleet  with  the  intention  of  seeing 
my  old  friend  General  Elliot.  Time  cannot  fade  the 
laurels  won  by  his  gallant  defense  of  that  fortress. 

After  the  usual  joy  which  attends  the  meeting  of  old 
friends,  I  went  to  examine  the  garrison  and  to  view  the 
operations  of  the  enemy.  My  friend  the  General  ac- 
companied me.  I  had  brought  with  me  a  most  excellent 
telescope  which  was  purchased  by  me  in  London.  By 
the  help  of  this  fine  instrument,  I  discovered  the  enemy 
was  going  to  discharge  a  thirty-six-pounder  at  the  exact 
spot  where  we  stood.  I  told  the  General  what  they  were 
about ;  he  looked  through  the  glass  also  and  found  me 
to  be  right.  With  his  permission  I  immediately  ordered 
a  forty-eight-pounder  to  be  brought  from  a  nearby  bat- 
tery. Having  long  studied  the  art  of  gunnery,  I  placed 
and  aimed  the  gun  with  so  much  exactness  that  I  was 
sure  of  my  mark. 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 


With  my  usual  wisdom,  caution,  and  presence  of 
mind,  I  watched  the  enemy  till  I  saw  the  match  placed 
at  the  touch-hole  of  their  piece.  At  that  very  instant  I 
gave  order  for  our  gun  to  be  fired  also. 

Attend,  young  Readers,  to  the  marvelous  result  of 
my  foresight  and  prompt  action !  Midway  between  the 
two  pieces  of  cannon,  the  balls  struck  each  other  with 
amazing  force,  and  the  effect  was  astounding  1 

The  enemy's  ball  recoiled  and  flew  back  with  such 
violence  as  to  kill  the  man  who  had  discharged  it,  not  to 
mention  sixteen  others  which  it  met  in  its  progress  to  the 
Barbary  coast.   Deadly  projectile  ! 

Continuing  with  unchecked  force,  it  tore  through  the 
masts  of  three  vessels  that  then  lay  in  a  line  behind  each 
other  in  the  harbor,  and,  though  much  spent  in  speed  by 
this  time,  it  broke  into  the  roof  of  a  laborer's  hut  about 
two  hundred  yards  inward  and  completely  demolished 
the  wig  of  an  old  woman  who  lay  asleep  on  the  floor 
of  the  hut.  The  ball  was  afterwards  found  deeply  em- 
bedded in  the  heart  of  a  neighboring  pigsty. 

Our  ball,  too,  did  excellent  service,  for  it  not  only 
repelled  the  other  in  the  manner  I  have  described,  but, 
continuing  its  course,  dismounted  the  very  piece  of  can- 
non that  had  just  been  used  against  us  and  drove  it  into 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  83 

the  hold  of  the  ship,  where  it  fell  with  so  much  force 
as  to  break  its  way  through  the  bottom.  The  ship  filled 
immediately  and  sank  with  a  thousand  Spanish  sailors, 
besides  a  considerable  number  of  soldiers  on  board. 

You  will  surely  acknowledge  this  to  be  an  extraordi- 
nary exploit.  I  will  not,  however,  take  the  whole  credit 
to  myself.  My  good  judgment  was  the  greater  reason 
for  success,  but  chance  assisted  me  a  little,  for  I  afterward 
found  that  the  man  who  loaded  our  forty-eight-pounder 
put  in,  by  mistake,  a  double  charge  of  powder.  Had  he 
done  otherwise  we  might  not  have  succeeded  so  far  be- 
yond all  expectation  in  repelling  the  enemy's  ball. 

General  Elliot  would  have  given  me  an  exalted  com- 
mission for  this  piece  of  service,  but  I  declined  every- 
thing except  his  thanks,  which  I  received  at  a  crowded 
table  of  officers  at  a  supper  on  the  evening  of  that  very 
day. 

As  I  am  very  partial  to  the  English,  who  are  beyond 
question  a  brave  people,  I  determined  not  to  take  my 
leave  of  the  garrison  till  I  had  rendered  them  another 
service.  In  about  three  weeks  an  opportunity  presented 
itself.  I  dressed  myself  in  the  habit  of  a  priest,  and  at 
one  o'clock  in  the  morning  stole  out  of  the  garrison, 
passed  the  enemy's  lines,  and  soon  arrived  in  the  midst 


84  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

of  their  camp.  Here  I  entered  the  tent  in  which  was  the 
Prince  d'Artois,  with  the  commander-in-chief  and  several 
other  officers,  who  were  in  deep  council  over  a  plan  to 
storm  our  garrison  next  morning. 

My  disguise  was  a  complete  protection,  and  I  was 
allowed  to  remain  in  the  tent,  hearing  everything  that 
passed  till  they  went  to  their  several  beds.  I  then  discov- 
ered the  whole  camp  and  even  the  sentinels  were  wrapped 
in  the  arms  of  Morpheus — such  sleep  is  always  deep 
and  exceedingly  satisfying  to  those  so  occupied. 

I  began  my  work,  which  was  that  of  dismounting  all 
their  cannon  (over  three  hundred  pieces),  from  forty- 
eight  to  twenty-four-pounders,  and  throwing  them  into 
the  sea.  Having  no  assistance,  I  found  this  the  hardest 
task  I  ever  undertook,  except  swimming  to  the  opposite 
shore  with  a  famous  Turkish  cannon  of  great  weight,  of 
which  exploit  I  may  tell  you  at  some  future  time. 

With  patience  and  strength  fortified  by  courage  and 
skill,  I  piled  all  the  gun-carriages  together  in  the  center 
of  the  camp.  To  prevent  the  noise  of  the  wheels  being 
heard,  I  carried  them  in  pairs  under  my  arms.  A  noble 
pile  they  made,  as  high,  at  least,  as  the  Rock  of  Gibraltar. 
I  then  lighted  a  match  by  striking  a  flintstone,  which  was 
twenty  feet  from  the  ground,  with  the  breech  of  an  iron 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 


forty-eight-pounder,  and  I  set  fire  to  the  whole  pile.  To 
add  fitting  fuel  to  this  glorious  flame,  I  threw  all  the 
enemy's  ammunition  wagons  on  the  top. 

Before  using  the  match,  it  is  needless  to  say  that  I  had 
wisely  laid  the  combustibles  at  the  bottom  of  the  pile  so 
that  the  whole  was  ablaze  in  a  moment.  To  prevent  sus- 
picion, I  was  one  of  the  first  to  express  surprise.  You 
may  imagine  that  the  whole  camp  was  shocked  with 
astonishment,  and  the  opinion  was  that  their  sentinels 
had  been  bribed  and  that  seven  or  eight  regiments  of 
our  garrison  had  been  employed  in  this  great  destruction 
of  their  artillery.  As  a  result  of  my  bravery  and  judg- 
ment, the  Count  d' Artois  and  all  his  attendants  took  such 
speedy  flight  that  they  never  stopped  until  they  reached 
Paris.  This  dreadful  conflagration  had  such  an  effect 
upon  them  that  they  could  take  no  food  or  refreshment 
for  at  least  three  months. 

One  morning,  about  two  months  after  I  had  done  the 
English  this  service,  when  I  was  sitting  at  breakfast  with 
General  Elliot,  a  shell  entered  the  room  in  which  we 
were.  To  my  horror  the  missile  lodged  upon  our  table. 
As  most  men  would  do,  the  General  quitted  the  place 
immediately  ;  but  I  took  up  the  shell  before  it  burst  and 
carried  it  to  the  top  of  Gibraltar's  rock.   Looking  over 


86  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

the  enemy's  camp  from  this  height  I  saw  a  considerable 
number  of  people.  Using  my  telescope,  I  discovered 
that  two  of  our  officers,  one  a  general  and  one  a  colonel 
(who  doubtless  had  been  made  prisoners"),  were  in  a  dire 
plight.  They  were  actually  going  to  be  executed  on  the 
gibbet. 

Alas,  I  found  the  distance  too  great  to  throw  the  shell 
with  my  hand,  but,  very  fortunately,  I  recollected  that 
I  had  a  most  miraculous  sling  in  my  pocket.  Into  this  I 
placed  the  shell  and  threw  it  into  the  midst  of  the  exe- 
cutioners. It  burst  as  it  fell,  destroying  all  present  but 
the  two  prisoners,  who  were  saved  by  being  hung  so 
high.  However,  one  piece  of  the  shell  flew  with  such 
force  against  the  foot  of  the  gibbet  that  it  was  shattered 
and  fell  to  the  ground. 

Our  two  friends  no  sooner  touched  firm  earth  {terra 
Jirmd\  than  they  ran  down  to  the  seashore,  seized  a 
Spanish  boat  with  two  men  in  it,  and  made  them  row 
to  one  of  our  own  ships,  which  they  did  in  complete 
safety. 

A  few  moments  later,  as  I  was  relating  my  action  to 
General  Elliot,  the  rescued  officers  both  appeared  and 
took  us  by  the  hand.  After  mutual  congratulations,  we 
retired  to  spend  the  rest  of  the  day  in  well-won  festivities. 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 


87 


Though  fully  aware  of  my  own  bravery  on  this  occasion, 
I  do  not  wish  my  young  Readers  to  think  that  I  ever 
allowed  pride  to  conceal  the  modesty  with  which  I  am 
justly  credited,  and  I  warn  you  to  be  ever  alert  in  telling 
the  strict  truth  without  regard  to  personal  satisfaction  or 
shallow  glory  that  tends  to  swell  self-esteem. 


CHAPTER  XII 


The  Baron  tells  more  of  his  wonderful  sling  —  The 
Baron's  father  narrates  adventures  with  a  sea-horse  —  A 
deadly  battle  between  lobsters  and  crabs  —  The  Bar- 
on's rather  sells  his  marine  steed  for  a  large  sum  —  The 
Baron  makes  observations  of  his  own  upon  bravery 


CHAPTER  XII 


CAN  see  by  your  faces,  my  dear  young 
Readers,  that  you  wish  to  hear  further 
about  my  treasure  of  a  sling  that  served 
me  and  others  so  notably.  My  father 
was  possessor  of  this  wonderful  instru- 
ment before  it  came  into  my  possession. 
One  day  he  was  walking  by  the  seashore  at  Harwich. 
The  sling  was  in  his  pocket.  Before  his  paces  had  covered 
a  mile,  he  was  attacked  by  a  fierce  animal  called  a  sea- 
horse. Open-mouthed,  terrible,  and  in  great  fury,  the 
beast  ran  at  him.  My  respected  father  hesitated  for  a 
moment  in  very  natural  fear  and  bewilderment,  but, 
recollecting  his  sling,  he  soon  recovered.  Cautiously  re- 
treating about  a  hundred  yards,  he  stooped  for  a  couple 
of  pebbles,  placed  them  carefully,  and  slung  them  both 
so  dexterously  at  the  animal  that  a  stone  smote  the  creature 
over  each  eye.  So  great  was  the  blow  that  the  animal's 
eyes  were  immediately  closed,  as  is  often,  in  cases  of 
fisticuffs,  common  in  English  sporting  circles.  Thus  the 
furious  beast  became  entirely  manageable.  My  father 
now  got  upon  his  back  and  drove  him  into  the  sea.  The 
sling  was  placed  as  a  bridle  in  his  mouth,  and  he  was 


92  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

thus  driven  with  the  greatest  ease  across  the  ocean,  by 
way  of  the  sea's  bottom.  In  less  than  three  hours,  they 
both  arrived  on  the  opposite  shore,  which  is  about  thirty 
leagues  distant. 

My  father  was  a  man  of  wisdom,  distinction,  and 
great  repute,  and  it  seems  fitting  that  I  should  repeat 
his  very  words  that  tell  of  this  adventure  at  the  bottom 
of  the  sea : 

"On  my  arrival  at  Helvoetsluys,"  said  my  father, 
"  the  natives  observed  that  I  breathed  with  some  dif- 
ficulty, and  I  informed  them  that  the  animal  on  whose 
back  I  rode  from  Harwich  did  not  swim.  My  beast  was 
of  a  peculiar  disposition  and  form,  and  could  not  float 
or  move  up  on  the  surface  of  the  water  or  swim  like  a 
fish  in  the  surrounding  sea.  With  incredible  swiftness, 
however,  he  galloped  across  the  sea's  bottom  from  shore 
to  shore,  driving  millions  of  fish  before  him.  Many  and 
varied  were  the  fish  I  observed,  the  most  peculiar  variety 
being  those  who  carried  their  heads  on  the  very  ends  of 
their  tails.  ("Doubtless  it  is  difficult  for  my  young  Read- 
ers to  conceive  of  a  sea-monster  so  peculiar,  and  I  have 
no  doubt  that  you  are  uncertain  in  which  direction  such 
a  fish  found  it  most  convenient  to  swim.  Rest  content, 
however,  in  the  reliability  of  my  father's  tale,  as  well  as  the 


HE   GALLOPED  ACROSS  THE   SEA  S   BOTTOM 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  93 

fish,  because  the  former  is  noted  for  his  strict  observance 
of  the  truth,  and  the  latter  will  not  dispute  my  father's 
statement,  whichever  way  they  navigate  the  ocean 
waters.! 

"  As  my  journey  progressed,"  continued  my  respected 
parent,  "  I  came  upon  a  prodigious  range  of  rocks  equal 
in  height  to  the  Alps,  on  the  sides  of  which  was  a  great 
variety  of  tall  and  noble  trees,  loaded  with  marine  fruit 
such  as  lobsters,  crabs,  oysters,  and  scallops,  some  of 
which  were  a  cart-load  each  in  size  and  weight!  The 
lobster  trees  appeared  the  richest,  but  the  crab  and  oys- 
ter trees  were  the  tallest. 

"  While  my  salt-water  Pegasus  galloped  over  the  peak 
of  an  extremely  precipitous  mountain,  a  wrecked  ship, 
sinking  from  the  surface  of  the  sea,  fell  upon  the  steep 
sides  of  the  mountain  and  in  its  course  downward  dragged 
both  lobsters  and  crabs  in  great  numbers  from  their  re- 
spective trees.  Great  enmity  seems  to  exist  between  these 
two  varieties.  Being  so  rudely  disturbed,  and  each  be- 
lieving the  other  to  be  the  cause  of  the  annoyance,  they 
fell  upon  each  other  with  great  violence.  A  terrific  battle 
followed  in  which  many  thousands  were  slaughtered. 

"  It  was  with  difficulty  that  I  escaped  injury,  as  I  was 
caught  in  the  midst  of  this  savage  horde  of  deadly  en- 


94  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

emies.  Added  to  this,  my  situation  was  in  other  ways 
unpleasant.  I  met  many  large  fish  who  were  not  only 
able,  but  greatly  desired  to  devour  us.  As  my  steed's 
eyes  had  not  yet  recovered  from  the  blows  I  had  given,  I 
found  the  attacks  of  these  hungry  creatures  difficult  to 
meet  and  overcome  alone.  But,  as  I  have  already  related, 
my  marvelous  journey  ended  in  safety  for  me,  and  I  sold 
my  Pegasus  to  a  Hollander  for  seven  hundred  ducats, 
which  was  upwards  of  three  hundred  pounds.  You  will 
doubtless  rejoice  also  to  know  that  my  strange  steed  fully 
recovered,  not  only  from  my  sling's  blow,  but  also  from 
the  hard  gallop  under  seas ! " 

After  reading  my  father's  narrative,  young  and  en- 
thusiastic Readers  will  be  doubly  interested  in  adventures 
of  my  own,  which  naturally  excel  in  marvels  even  those 
of  a  person  as  unusual  as  my  honored  parent.  Traits  of 
nature  that  make  a  brave  soldier,  a  gallant  gentleman,  and 
a  great  sportsman,  are  only  increased  in  perfection  when 
inherited  from  noble  forbears. 


CHAPTER  XIII 


The  Baron  tells  of  adventures  on  a  voyage  to  North 
America  which  are  worthy  of  his  young  Readers'  atten- 
tion—  The  pranks  of  a  monstrous  whale — A  sea-gull 
saves  the  life  of  a  sailor  —  The  Baron's  head  is  forced 
amidships —  The  Baron  stops  a  serious  leak  in  an  unusual 
manner 


CHAPTER  XIII 

Y  young  Readers  will  be  interested  in  the  ad- 
venture that  I  shall  now  tell,  because  it  de- 
scribes other  situations  and  conditions  than 
heretofore  narrated.  None  the  less,  how- 
ever, you  will  admire  my  fortitude,  and 
marvel  at  dilemmas  in  which  I  was  placed. 
I  once  embarked  at  Portsmouth  in  a  first-rate  English 
man-of-war  of  one  hundred  guns  and  fourteen  hundred 
men.  We  set  a  straight  course  for  North  America. 
Nothing  worth  relating  happened  till  we  arrived  within 
three  hundred  leagues  of  the  river  Saint  Lawrence,  when 
the  ship  struck  with  amazing  force  against  what  we  sup- 
posed to  be  a  rock.  However,  upon  heaving  the  lead, 
we  could  find  no  bottom,  even  with  three  hundred  fathom 
of  line.  There  seemed  to  be  no  sea-bottom,  and  yet  we 
had  struck  something  with  such  violence  that  the  shock 
rent  the  rudder  off  completely,  broke  our  bowsprit  in 
the  middle,  and  split  all  our  masts  from  top  to  bottom, 
two  of  which  went  by  the  board.  One  poor  sailor,  who 
was  aloft  furling  the  main-sheet,  was  flung  at  least  three 
leagues  from  the  ship.  Fortunately,  the  fellow  saved  his 
life  by  laying  hold  of  the  tail  of  a  large  sea-gull  who 


98  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

brought  him  back  and  left  him  on  the  very  spot  from 
whence  he  had  been  thrown. 

Another  proof  of  the  violence  of  the  shock  was  the 
force  with  which  those  between  decks  were  driven  against 
the  floors  above  them.  My  head  met  the  ceiling  of  my 
cabin  with  such  terrific  force  that  it  was  driven  almost  to 
the  place  of  my  stomach,  where  it  continued  for  some 
months  before  it  recovered  its  natural  place  upon  my 
shoulders.  While  we  were  all  in  a  state  of  astonishment 
and  confusion,  the  disaster  was  suddenly  explained  by 
the  appearance  of  a  large  whale  that  had  been  asleep 
within  sixteen  feet  of  the  surface  of  the  water.  This  ani- 
mal was  much  displeased  with  the  disturbance  which  our 
ship  had  given  him.  In  our  passage  we  had  scratched 
his  nose  with  our  rudder.  His  rage  was,  indeed,  terrible 
and  his  revenge  instant  and  terrifying.  With  a  blow  of 
his  tail  he  stove  in  all  the  gallery  and  part  of  the  quarter- 
deck. Then,  turning  upon  us,  he  took  between  his  teeth 
the  main-sheet  anchor  which  was,  of  course,  suspended 
from  the  head,  as  it  usually  is.  Off  he  drove  with  the  ship 
at  a  speed  surely  exceeding  twelve  leagues  an  hour.  For- 
tunately, after  dragging  the  ship  and  her  defenseless  pas- 
sengers for  at  least  sixty  leagues,  the  cable  broke  and  we 
lost  both  whale  and  anchor. 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  99 

However,  upon  our  return  voyage  to  Europe  some 
months  later,  we  came  upon  the  same  whale  within  a 
short  distance  from  the  very  spot  where  we  had  lost  him. 
He  was  dead  and  floating  upon  the  water.  After  careful 
measurement  we  found  the  monster  to  be  half  a  mile  in 
length.  As  we  could  take  but  a  small  quantity  of  such  a 
mammoth  creature  on  board,  we  got  our  boats  out  and, 
with  much  difficulty,  cut  his  head  off.  To  our  joy  we 
found  the  anchor  in  his  mouth,  along  with  about  forty 
fathom  of  our  cable.  I  have  no  doubt  that,  added  to  the 
pain  and  humiliation  of  a  scratched  nose,  the  creature 
found  a  diet  of  anchor  and  cable  so  unpalatable  that  his 
death  took  place  forthwith. 

The  recovery  of  the  ship's  anchor  was  the  only  inci- 
dent of  interest  that  happened  on  our  return  voyage.  One 
part  of  our  distress,  however,  I  had  almost  forgotten  to 
tell  you.  While  the  whale  was  running  away  with  the 
ship,  she  sprung  a  leak.  The  water  poured  in  so  fast  that 
all  our  pumps  could  not  keep  us  from  sinking.  It  was, 
however,  my  good  fortune  to  be  first  to  discover  the 
danger  that  threatened  to  overwhelm  us.  I  found  a  large 
hole  in  the  ship's  bottom,  considerably  over  a  foot  in 
diameter !  It  gives  me  great  happiness  and  affords  me 
cause  for  pride  to  tell  you  that  our  noble  vessel  was  saved, 


IOO 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 


with  all  its  crew,  by  a  most  fortunate  example  of  my 
presence  of  mind.  Quick  action  in  times  of  danger  is 
also  wisdom's  surest  weapon.  With  no  thought  of  my 
own  comfort,  I  instantly  sat  upon  the  rent  in  the  ship's 
bottom  and  completely  stopped  the  leak.  I  need  not 
state  that  such  sacrifice  added  to  my  discomfort.  The 
position  in  which  I  was  placed  was  both  cold  and  wet,  but 
who,  during  acts  of  bravery,  considers  personal  inconven- 
ience ?  Presently  the  carpenter  came  to  my  rescue  and 
with  his  art  completed  the  work  I  had  so  bravely  begun. 


CHAPTER  XIV 


The  Baron  tells  of  a  frolic  —  Saint  Paul's  clock  strikes 
thirteen  —  Windsor  Castle  —  College  of  Physicians  — 
Undertakers,  sextons,  and  apothecaries  almost  ruined 


CHAPTER  XIV 

HIS  chapter  of  my  adventures  will  be  brief, 
but  it  is  necessary  to  record  one  more  of 
the  marvels  done  by  my  famous  sling, 
which  makes  its  possessor  equal  to  any 
task  he  is  desirous  of  performing.  The 
tale  I  shall  now  tell  smacks  somewhat  of 
being  a  frolic  rather  than  a  glorious  adventure  —  more 
suited  to  one  of  my  nature  and  desires.  But  my  young 
friends  will  be  first  to  understand  the  need  and  plea- 
sure of  sprightly  entertainment. 

On  a  certain  occasion  I  made  a  balloon  so  large  that 
an  account  of  the  silk  it  contained  would  exceed  all  be- 
lief. Every  silk  merchant's  shop  in  London,  Westmin- 
ster, and  Spitalflelds  contributed  to  it,  and  with  this 
aerial  monster  and  my  sling  I  played  many  pranks  and 
found  much  harmless  entertainment. 

Once  I  took  a  good-sized  house  from  its  place  and 
put  it  in  another  without  disturbing  the  inhabitants,  who 
were  too  soundly  asleep  to  notice  the  wanderings  of  this 
habitation. 

On  another  occasion  my  dexterity  made  the  sentinel 
on  watch  at  Windsor  Castle  hear  the  clock  at  Saint  Paul's 


io4  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

strike  thirteen.  This  was  accomplished  by  removing 
Windsor  Castle  from  its  place  and  setting  it  down  close 
to  Saint  Paul's.  This  was  done  at  exactly  midnight  and 
at  the  stroke  of  twelve,  at  which  moment  the  sentinel  was 
sufficiently  awake  to  count  the  twelve  strokes.  Falling 
asleep  an  instant  after,  he  slept  for  sixty  minutes  and 
awoke  as  Saint  Paul's  clock  struck  one.  Being  entirely 
unconscious  of  his  nap  for  a  full  hour,  the  thirteen 
strokes  seemed  to  the  sentinel  to  be  in  exact  order. 
Therefore,  in  the  morning  he  hastened  to  report  the  mis- 
behavior of  Saint  Paul's  clock.  It  is  not  recorded,  how- 
ever, that  his  habits  of  sleep  became  known  or  in  any 
way  accounted  for  the  story  he  told. 

With  no  difficulty  I  carried  the  castle  back  to  its 
proper  place  before  daylight  and  without  waking  any 
of  the  dwellers.  Of  course  I  need  not  state  that  the  sen- 
tinel slept  out  his  watch  with  his  usual  loyalty  and  de- 
votion. 

At  another  time,  on  the  thirtieth  of  September,  when 
the  College  of  Physicians  elected  their  annual  officers 
and  dined  sumptuously  together,  I  filled  my  balloon, 
brought  it  over  the  dome  of  the  College,  and  clapped 
my  sling  around  the  golden  ball  at  the  top.  Hitching 
the  other  end  of  my  sling  securely  to  the  basket  of  my 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  105 

balloon,  I  immediately  rose  with  the  whole  college  to  an 
immense  height,  where  I  kept  the  wise  Doctors  for  up- 
wards of  three  months. 

You  will  naturally  inquire  what  they  did  for  food  such 
a  length  of  time?  To  this  I  answer  that  had  I  kept  them 
suspended  twice  the  time,  they  would  have  sufFered  no 
inconvenience  on  that  account.  Their  dinner-table  on  this 
imposing  occasion  was  so  amply  or  rather  extravagantly 
spread  that  their  feasting  might  have  lasted  indefinitely. 

Though  this  feat  of  mine  was  meant  as  an  innocent 
frolic,  it  caused  much  mischief  to  many  respectable  char- 
acters among  the  clergy,  undertakers,  sextons,  and  build- 
ers of  tombstones.  These  were,  it  must  be  acknowledged, 
the  only  sufferers.  It  is  a  well-known  fact  that  during 
the  three  months  the  college  was  suspended  in  the  air, 
there  was  little  illness  below  them.  Though  unable  to 
attend  their  patients,  no  deaths  happened  except  a  few 
who  fell  before  the  scythe  of  Father  Time.  It  is  also  said 
that,  if  the  apothecaries  had  not  been  very  active  during 
the  above  time,  half  the  undertakers,  in  all  probability, 
would  have  been  bankrupt. 


CHAPTER  XV 


The  Baron  sails  with  Captain  Phipps,  attacks  two  large 
bears,  and  has  a  narrow  escape  —  Gains  the  confidence 
of  the  animals  and  guides  them  on  board  ship  —  The 
Baron  makes  many  gifts  and  is  highly  honored — The 
Baron  acquits  Captain  Phipps  of  neglect  of  duty 


CHAPTER  XV 


TRUST  you  have  all  heard  of  Captain 
Phipps,  a  gentleman  of  distinction  as  well 
as  a  brave  and  capable  sailor.  On  his  last 
voyage  of  discovery  to  the  north,  I  ac- 
companied the  Captain,  not  as  an  officer 
but  a  private  friend.  When  we  arrived 
in  high  northern  latitude,  I  was  viewing  the  objects 
around  me  with  the  telescope  which  I  introduced  to  you 
in  my  Gibraltar  adventure.  I  thought  I  saw  two  large 
white  bears  in  savage  combat  upon  a  great  body  of  ice 
considerably  higher  than  the  masts  of  our  ship.  They 
seemed  to  be  about  two  miles  distant.  I  immediately 
took  my  carbine,  slung  it  across  my  shoulder,  and  pro- 
ceeded to  climb  the  mass  of  ice. 

When  I  arrived  at  the  top,  the  unevenness  of  the  sur- 
face made  my  approach  to  the  bears  both  troublesome 
and  hazardous.  Sometimes  I  was  obliged  to  jump  over 
hideous  cavities  which  lay  across  my  path.  In  other 
places  the  ice  was  as  smooth  as  a  mirror,  and  I  was  con- 
tinually falling.  As  I  came  close  upon  the  bears,  instead 
of  fighting  I  saw  they  were  only  at  play.  With  a  true 
sportsman's  instinct,  I  immediately  began  to  calculate 


no  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

the  value  of  their  skins,  for  they  were  each  as  large  as  a 
well-fed  ox,  and  for  exhibition  purposes  these  great  crea- 
tures would  surely  reap  a  golden  harvest. 

Unfortunately,  at  the  very  instant  I  was  aiming  my 
carbine,  my  right  foot  slipped  and  I  fell  upon  my  back. 
The  violence  of  the  blow  entirely  deprived  me  of  my 
senses  for  nearly  half  an  hour.  When  I  recovered,  judge 
of  my  surprise  at  finding  that  one  of  those  large  animals 
had  turned  me  upon  my  face,  and  was  just  laying  hold 
of  the  waistband  of  my  breeches,  which  were  then  new 
and  made  of  leather.  He  was  certainly  going  to  carry 
me,  feet  foremost,  I  know  not  where.  Desiring  only  to 
protect  my  life,  I  seized  a  large  knife  from  my  side 
pocket  and  made  a  stab  at  one  of  his  hind  feet.  In  doing 
so  I  injured  three  of  his  toes  and  he  at  once  let  me  drop 
and  roared  horribly.  I  took  up  my  carbine  and  fired  at 
him  as  he  ran  off,  and  he  fell  immediately. 

The  noise  of  the  piece  roused  several  thousands  of 
these  white  bears  who  were  asleep  upon  the  ice  within 
half  a  mile  of  me,  and  the  herd  immediately  rushed  to 
the  spot.  There  was  no  time  to  be  lost !  A  most  fortu- 
nate thought  came  into  my  head  just  at  that  instant. 
Though  extremely  distasteful  to  me,  I  took  off"  the  head 
and  skin  of  the  dead  bear,  in  half  the  time  that  some  peo- 


oA 


\ 


« 


t 


>/>J 


^ 


^   >^* 


* 


I  SLAUGHTERED  THE  CREATURES  ONE  BY  ONE 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  in 

pie  would  spend  skinning  a  rabbit,  and  wrapped  myself 
in  it,  placing  Bruin's  cranium  over  my  own.  The  whole 
herd  surrounded  me  immediately,  and  I  assure  you  my 
position  was  most  hazardous.  However,  my  scheme 
turned  out  a  most  admirable  one  for  my  own  safety. 
The  beasts  all  came  smelling,  and  evidently  took  me  for 
a  brother  Bruin.  I  saw  among  them  several  cubs  not 
much  larger  than  myself.  After  they  had  all  smelt  me, 
or  rather  their  deceased  companion,  we  became  very  so- 
ciable, and  soon  I  could  mimic  all  their  actions  tolerably 
well,  but  at  growling,  hugging,  and  roaring,  they  were 
quite  my  masters.  I  began  now  to  think  how  I  might 
turn  their  confidence  to  my  advantage. 

It  has  been  said,  by  those  seeking  to  malign  me,  that 
I  slaughtered  the  creatures  one  by  one,  and,  with  the 
assistance  of  our  crew,  loaded  our  ship  with  bear  hams. 
But  my  young  Readers,  knowing  my  kindness  of  heart 
and  gentleness  of  nature,  will  have  no  belief  in  such  un- 
just reports. 

Growing  more  expert  in  the  manners,  customs,  and 
behavior  of  these  great  creatures,  it  did  not  take  me  long 
to  become  their  leader,  for  it  was  he  whose  mantle  had 
fallen  upon  my  shoulders.  The  whole  herd  soon  looked 
to  me  for  customary  buffets  peculiar  to  their  kind,  which 


ii2  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

I  administered  with  skill  and  effect.  My  guidance  also 
seemed  to  be  sought,  and,  with  the  assistance  of  a  pocket- 
ful of  barley-sugar  scattered  behind  me,  I  had  no  dif- 
ficulty in  guiding  them  all  into  the  hold  of  our  ship 
without  assistance  from  any  one.  To  batten  down  hatches 
over  our  strange  cargo  required  neither  skill  nor  bravery 
on  the  part  of  the  crew. 

As  soon  as  we  arrived  in  England,  in  the  Captain's 
name  I  sent  some  of  the  bears  to  the  Lords  of  the  Treas- 
ury, and  some  to  the  Lord  Mayor  and  Corporation  of 
London.  From  all  I  received  warm  thanks;  but  from 
the  city  I  was  honored  with  an  invitation  to  dine  at  Guild- 
hall annually  on  Lord  Mayor's  Day. 

Some  people  have  ungenerously  reported  that  Captain 
Phipps  did  not  proceed  as  far  northward  as  he  might 
have  done  upon  that  expedition.  Here  it  becomes  my 
duty  to  speak  in  his  defense.  Our  ship  was  in  very 
proper  trim  till  I  lined  it  with  such  an  enormous  load 
of  bears,  after  which  it  would  have  been  madness  to 
have  attempted  to  proceed  farther,  as  we  were  then 
scarcely  able  to  combat  a  brisk  gale,  much  less  those 
mountains  of  ice  which  lay  in  the  higher  latitudes. 


CHAPTER  XVI 


Our  Baron  excels  Baron  Tott  completely — Gets  into 
disgrace  with  the  Grand  Seignior  who  orders  the 
Baron's  head  to  be  removed  —  The  Baron  escapes  and 
gets  on  board  a  vessel  bound  for  Venice  —  He  dis- 
misses Tott  from  mind  and  from  further  memory 


CHAPTER  XVI 


F  course,  one  whose  adventures  have  been 
so  varied  and  astounding  as  mine  is  often 
accused  of  exaggeration  if  not  untruth- 
fulness. Had  I,  in  any  of  my  narratives, 
told  such  plainly  impossible  tales  as  Bar- 
on de  Tott  in  his  famous  "  Memoirs,"  I 
should  certainly  have  deserved  the  name  of  Liar.  This 
person's  bragging  is  surely  unworthy  of  a  gentleman. 
He  tells  the  following  story,  vouching  for  its  truth  in 
every  way;  and  I  shall  repeat  it  to  you  as  nearly  as  my 
memory  will  serve  in  Baron  de  Tott's  exact  words : 

"  The  Turks  had  placed  below  the  castle  occupied  by 
our  forces  an  enormous  cannon,  cast  in  brass,  which 
would  carry  a  marble  ball  of  eleven  hundred  pounds 
weight.  I  was  willing  to  fire  the  cannon,  but  wanted  first 
to  see  its  effect  upon  the  object  at  which  it  was  aimed. 
For  this  purpose  I  stood  at  some  distance  and  at  height 
enough  to  observe  properly.  No  one  could  be  found, 
however,  who  was  willing  to  fire  this  monstrous  can- 
non, for  they  said  it  would  overthrow  not  only  the  castle, 
but  the  city  also.  At  length,  I  succeeded  in  allaying  their 
fears  and  volunteered  to  discharge  it  myself.   This  great 


n6  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

gun  required  not  less  than  three  hundred  and  thirty 
pounds  weight  of  powder  and  the  ball,  as  I  have  men- 
tioned, eleven  hundred  weight. 

"  When  the  engineer  brought  the  priming,  the  crowd 
which  surrounded  me  withdrew  as  far  as  they  could. 
Even  the  engineer,  who  was  to  load  and  prime  the  gun 
under  my  direction,  was  greatly  alarmed.  I  took  my 
stand  behind  the  cannon  and  with  my  own  hand  applied 
the  match  to  the  touch-hole.  The  shock  was  like  that 
of  an  earthquake  !  At  the  distance  of  eighteen  hundred 
feet,  the  ball  burst  into  three  pieces ;  the  fragments  crossed 
the  Strait,  rebounded  on  the  opposite  mountain,  and  left 
the  surface  of  the  water  all  in  a  foam  over  the  whole 
breadth  of  the  channel." 

This,  my  young  Friends,  is  Baron  Tott's  account  of 
the  largest  cannon  in  the  known  world.  Now  when  I  was 
there  not  long  ago,  the  story  of  Tott's  firing  this  tremen- 
dous piece  was  told  me  as  a  proof  of  the  gentleman's 
great  courage. 

Since  I  was  determined  not  to  be  outdone  by  a  French- 
man, I  took  this  very  piece  upon  my  shoulder.  After 
balancing  it  properly,  I  jumped  into  the  sea  and  swam 
to  the  opposite  shore  with  it,  whence  I  attempted  to 
throw  it  back  to  the  spot  from  which  I  had  taken  it.    But, 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  117 

alas,  just  as  I  was  about  to  cast  it  from  me,  it  slipped  a 
little  in  my  hand,  and,  falling  short  of  its  intended  goal, 
fell  into  the  middle  of  the  channel,  where  it  now  lies. 

Though  I  was  in  high  favor  with  the  Grand  Seignior, 
this  cruel  Turk,  as  soon  as  he  heard  of  the  loss  of  his 
famous  cannon,  ordered  my  head  to  be  cut  off.  I  was 
immediately  told  of  this  unfortunate  plan  by  a  friend 
deep  in  the  confidence  of  that  tyrant.  That  very  night  I 
made  my  escape  on  board  a  vessel  bound  for  Venice, 
which  was  then  weighing  anchor  to  proceed  on  her 
voyage. 

I  am  sure  my  young  Readers  who  know  me  can  have 
no  doubt  of  my  veracity,  nor  can  they  include  me  in 
company  with  that  swaggering,  bouncing  Tott,  whose 
performances  have  no  importance  whatever  compared  to 
mine.  I  trust  from  this  moment  you  will  dismiss  this 
person  from  all  thought  and  memory. 


CHAPTER  XVII 


This  is  a  chapter  that  proves  the  fact  that  the  Baron's 
memory  ought  to  be  dear  to  Englishmen,  especially 
those  who  may  have  the  misfortune  of  hereafter  being 
made  prisoners  of  war — A  voyage  eastward  —  The 
Baron  introduces  a  friend  who  never  betrayed  him  — 
Pins  his  faith  on  a  friend's  nose  and  wins  a  wager  — 
The  Baron's  friend  points  to  game  in  mid-ocean  —  The 
friend  is  fittingly  rewarded 


CHAPTER  XVII 


OU  doubtless  remember  my  adventure  at 
Gibraltar,  at  which  place  I  distinguished 
myself  and  rendered  great  service  to  the 
English.  On  my  return  from  there  I 
traveled  by  way  of  France  to  England. 
Reaching  the  harbor  of  Calais,  I  found 
a  ship  just  arrived  with  a  number  of  English  sailors,  all 
of  whom  were  prisoners  of  war.  I  immediately  hit  upon 
an  idea  of  giving  those  brave  fellows  their  liberty,  and 
this  plan  of  mine  was  accomplished  as  follows : 

After  making  a  pair  of  large  and  powerful  wings, 
each  of  them  forty  yards  long  and  fourteen  wide,  I  care- 
fully attached  myself  to  them.  At  the  break  of  day  I 
arose  in  the  air  like  a  great  bird.  Every  one,  even  the 
watch  on  the  ship's  deck,  was  asleep.  Hovering  over  the 
vessel,  I  fastened  three  grappling  irons  to  the  tops  of 
the  three  masts  with  my  famous  sling.  With  no  trouble 
or  labor  at  all,  I  fairly  lifted  the  vessel  several  yards  out  of 
water,  and  then  proceeded  across  the  channel  to  Dover, 
where  I  arrived  in  half  an  hour !  Having  no  further  use 
for  my  wings,  I  made  them  a  present  to  the  Governor  of 


122  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

Dover  Castle,  where  they  are  exhibited  to  the  curious  to 
this  very  day. 

As  to  the  prisoners  and  the  Frenchmen  who  guarded 
them,  they  did  not  awake  till  they  had  been  nearly  two 
hours  at  Dover  Pier.  The  moment  the  English  saw  their 
situation,  they  changed  places  with  their  guard.  Of 
course,  they  took  back  all  they  had  been  plundered  of, 
but  no  more,  for  they  were  too  generous  to  retaliate  and 
plunder  the  enemy  in  return  for  like  treatment. 

A  short  time  after  the  foregoing  adventure,  I  made  a 
voyage  to  the  East  Indies  with  Captain  Hamilton.  With 
me  I  took  my  favorite  dog,  a  pointer.  He  was,  to  use  a 
common  phrase,  worth  his  weight  in  gold,  for  he  never 
deceived  me,  no  matter  what  the  circumstance  or  tempta- 
tion. One  day,  when  we  were  at  least  three  hundred 
leagues  from  land,  my  dog  pointed.  His  action  was  not  to 
be  mistaken.  I  observed  him  with  astonishment  for  nearly 
an  hour,  for  were  we  not  far  from  sight  or  scent  of  any 
game  ?  I  called  the  Captain's  and  the  officers'  attention 
to  my  dog's  behavior,  stating  that  we  must  be  near  land, 
for  my  dog  smelt  game.  This  caused  a  general  laugh, 
but  that  did  not  in  the  least  change  the  confidence  I 
placed  in  my  trusted  friend's  honesty. 

After  much  conversation  and  some  heated  argument, 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  123 

I  boldly  told  the  Captain  I  had  more  faith  in  Tray's  nose 
than  I  had  in  the  eyes  of  every  seaman  on  board.  I  there- 
fore wagered  the  cost  of  my  passage,  one  hundred 
guineas,  that  we  should  find  game  within  half  an  hour. 
The  Captain  laughed  in  good  humor  and  asked  Mr. 
Cranford,  the  ship's  surgeon,  to  feel  my  pulse,  which  he 
did  and  promptly  reported  me  in  perfect  health.  I  in- 
sisted upon  my  own  sanity  and  my  dog's  good  sense 
and  prevailed  upon  the  Captain  to  accept  my  wager. 

"  Done  !  "  and  "  Done  !  "  were  scarcely  said  on  both 
sides,  when  some  sailors,  who  were  fishing  in  the  long 
boat  which  was  made  fast  to  the  stern  of  the  ship,  har- 
pooned an  exceedingly  large  shark.  This  great  fish  was 
hoisted  on  board  and  the  men  began  to  cut  it  up  for  the 
purpose  of  saving  the  oil.  Behold  !  scarcely  was  the  fish 
opened  than  they  found  no  less  than  six  brace  of  live 
partridges  in  the  creature's  stomach  ! 

The  birds  had  been  so  long  in  these  strange  quarters 
that  one  of  the  hen  partridges  was  sitting  upon  four  eggs, 
and  a  fifth  egg  was  hatching  when  the  shark  was  opened ! 
This  newly  hatched  bird  immediately  became  the  com- 
rade and  playfellow  of  a  litter  of  little  kittens,  whose 
mother  cat  was  as  proud  of  it  as  of  her  own  four-legged 
family,  and  made  herself  very  unhappy  when  the  bird  flew 


124 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 


out  of  her  reach.  As  to  the  other  partridges,  there  were 
four  hens  among  them,  of  which  one  or  more  were  con- 
stantly sitting,  and  we  had  plenty  of  game  at  the  Cap- 
tain's table. 

In  gratitude  to  old  Tray  for  being  the  means  of  my  win- 
ning one  hundred  guineas,  I  ordered  him  the  bones  daily, 
and  sometimes  a  whole  bird.  By  thus  showing  my  own 
gratitude  and  regard  for  a  friend  who  never  deceived  me, 
I  recorded  myself  as  an  admirer  of  honesty  and  rectitude. 


CHAPTER  XVIII 


The  Baron  visits  the  moon  a  second  time —  His  ship  is 
driven  by  a  whirlwind  a  thousand  leagues  above  the  sea 
—  A  description  of  the  moon's  inhabitants,  animals,  cus- 
toms, and  weapons  of  war  —  The  Baron  does  not  tell 
how  he  made  his  return  journey,  but  assures  us  of  the 
veracity  of  his  narrative. 


CHAPTER  XVIII 


HAVE  already  told  you  of  one  trip  I  made 
to  the  moon  in  search  of  my  silver 
hatchet.  I  shall  now  tell  you  of  another 
journey  made  in  a  much  pleasanter  man- 
ner. There  was  much  of  interest  in  this 
visit,  which  I  will  try  to  describe  as  care- 
fully as  my  memory  will  permit. 

I  went  on  this  voyage  at  the  request  of  a  distant  rela- 
tion who  had  a  strange  notion  that  there  were  people  to 
be  found  on  the  moon  equal  in  size  to  those  described 
by  Gulliver  in  the  "  Empire  of  Brobdingnag."  After 
due  preparations  I  sailed  for  the  South  Seas,  where  we 
arrived  without  coming  upon  anything  unusual  except 
some  flying  men  and  women  who  were  playing  leap- 
frog in  the  air. 

On  the  eighteenth  day,  after  passing  the  Island  of 
Otaheite  (mentioned  by  Captain  Cook),  a  hurricane 
struck  us  and  blew  our  ship  at  least  one  thousand  leagues 
above  the  surface  of  the  water.  We  remained  at  this 
height,  and  in  about  the  same  spot,  until  a  fresh  gale 
arrived,  filling  our  sails  nigh  to  bursting  as  onwards  and 


128  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

ever  upwards  we  traveled  at  a  prodigious  rate.  In  this 
way  we  drove  before  the  gale  far  above  the  clouds  for 
six  weeks.  At  last  we  discovered  a  great  land  in  the  sky, 
like  a  shining  island,  round  and  bright.  Coming  to  a 
convenient  harbor,  we  went  on  shore  and  soon  found  the 
land  to  be  inhabited. 

Below  us  we  could  plainly  see  another  earth,  having 
cities,  trees,  mountains,  rivers,  and  oceans ;  this  we  took 
to  be  the  world  which  you  live  upon  and  the  one  which 
we  had  left.  Presently  we  saw  huge  figures  riding  upon 
vultures  of  enormous  size  and  each  of  them  having  three 
heads.  That  you  may  get  some  idea  of  the  great  size  of 
these  birds,  I  must  tell  you  that  each  of  their  wings  was 
once  the  width  and  six  times  the  length  of  the  main- 
sheet  of  our  vessel.  Instead  of  riding  upon  horses,  as  we 
do  in  this  world,  the  inhabitants  of  the  moon  fly  about 
on  these  birds. 

The  king  of  this  land  we  found  was  engaged  in  war 
with  the  sun.  He  offered  me  a  commission,  but  I  de- 
clined the  honor  His  Majesty  so  benignly  proposed. 

Everything  on  the  moon  is  of  extraordinary  magni- 
tude, a  common  flea  being  much  larger  than  one  of 
our  sheep  !  When  at  war  the  principal  weapons  used 
by  the  warriors  are  radishes,  which  serve  the  purpose 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  129 

of  darts ;  those  wounded  by  them  die  immediately.  Their 
shields  are  made  of  mushrooms,  a  protection  from  aspar- 
agus arrows  when  radish  darts  are  out  of  season. 

We  soon  learned  that  natives  of  the  dog-star  were  to 
be  found  here,  commerce  tempting  them  to  ramble. 
These  creatures  have  faces  like  those  of  large  mastiffs, 
with  their  eyes  near  the  ends  of  their  noses.  They  are  not 
provided  with  eyelids,  but  cover  their  eyes  with  their 
tongues  when  sleeping.  These  strange  wanderers  are 
generally  twenty  feet  high. 

As  to  the  natives  of  the  moon,  none  are  less  in  stature 
than  thirty  feet.  They  can  hardly  be  called  human  crea- 
tures, though  they  dress  their  food  by  fire,  as  we  do. 
They  lose  no  time,  however,  at  meals,  for  they  have  a 
useful  contrivance  in  their  left  sides  resembling  a  door, 
which  is  easily  opened  and  shut.  A  whole  meal  is  placed 
therein  at  once,  and  the  door  is  instantly  shut  and  not 
opened  again  for  a  full  month.  They  never  indulge  in 
food  more  than  twelve  times  a  year.  All  but  gluttons  and 
food-fanciers  must  prefer  this  method  to  ours.  Especially 
must  this  manner  of  eating  attract  those  obliged  by  cir- 
cumstance to  resort  to  the  food  provided  by  the  inns, 
hostelries,  and  bake-shops  of  our  time. 

When  the  people  of  this  land  grow  old,  they  do  not 


130  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

die,  but  turn  into  air  and  dissolve  like  smoke.  They  have 
but  one  finger  upon  each  hand,  with  which  they  do 
everything  in  as  perfect  a  manner  as  we  do,  who  have 
four  besides  a  thumb.  Their  heads  are  placed  under  the 
right  arm,  and,  when  they  go  traveling  or  about  any 
violent  exercise,  they  generally  leave  their  heads  at  home, 
for  they  can  consult  them  at  any  distance. 

I  nearly  omitted  telling  you  of  another  strange  but 
convenient  custom  of  these  people.  They  put  their  bodies 
to  the  same  use  as  we  do  a  sack,  and  toss  through  their  side 
doors  whatever  they  have  occasion  to  need  in  traveling, 
or  wish  to  place  in  safe-keeping.  Not  being  troubled  with 
inner  organs  such  as  ours,  this  habit  or  custom  affords 
them  great  satisfaction  and  not  the  least  suffering  or  in- 
convenience. 

Their  eyes,  which  are  of  varied  colors,  they  take  out  or 
put  in  as  they  please,  and  can  see  as  well  with  eyes  in  the 
hand  as  in  the  head !  If  by  accident  they  lose  or  dam- 
age one  or  more,  they  borrow  or  purchase  others.  Deal- 
ers in  eyes  are,  on  this  account,  very  numerous  in  most 
parts  of  the  moon,  and  in  this  article  alone,  all  the  natives 
are  whimsical.  Sometimes  green,  and  sometimes  yellow, 
and  sometimes  eyes  of  other  colors  are  the  fashion. 

I  know  you  will  think  my  narrative  strange,  but  if 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 


J3i 


the  shadow  of  a  doubt  remains  in  your  young  minds,  I 
say,  just  take  a  trip  to  the  moon  yourselves,  and  then 
you  will  know  that  I  am  a  traveler  whose  word  may  be 
completely  depended  upon. 


CHAPTER  XIX 


The  Baron  tells  of  Saint  Hubert's  stag — Shoots  a  stag 
with  cherry-stones  —  Tells  of  venison  steak  and  cherry- 
sauce —  Overcomes  a  bear  in  a  miraculous  manner  — 
Is  attacked  by  a  terrible  wolf,  which  he  promptly  dis- 
poses of — Is  assailed  by  a  mad  dog  —  The  Baron's 
best  cloak  is  seized  with  madness 


CHAPTER  XIX 

Y  young  Friends  have  heard,  I  am  sure, 
of  Saint  Hubert,  the  protector  of  hunt- 
ers, and  also  of  the  noble  stag  with  a 
cross  between  his  antlers  which  appeared 
to  him  in  the  forest.  If  you  are  not 
familiar  with  the  good  Saint,  and  would 
add  to  your  store  of  sportsman's  knowledge,  I  here- 
with advise  you  to  look  into  the  Saint's  career.  Maybe 
one  day  you  may  come  upon  an  adventure  worthy  of 
recording,  as  is  the  one  I  shall  now  tell  you. 

Having  once  used  all  my  shot,  I  found  myself  sud- 
denly in  the  presence  of  a  stately  stag.  The  creature 
was  looking  at  me  with  a  calm  indifference  that  seemed 
to  prove  that  he  knew  of  my  empty  pouches.  But  with 
the  usual  presence  of  mind  which  has  served  me  so  well 
on  many  occasions,  I  loaded  my  gun  with  a  great  charge 
of  powder  and  rammed  upon  it  a  handful  of  cherry- 
stones, for  I  had  sucked  the  fruit  as  far  as  the  hurry 
would  permit.  Thus  I  let  fly  at  him  and  hit  him  just 
on  the  middle  of  the  forehead  between  the  antlers.  The 
shot  stunned  him.  He  staggered,  but  in  a  moment 
made  off  at  full  speed. 


136  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

A  year  or  two  after,  being  in  the  same  forest  with  a 
hunting  party,  I  beheld  a  noble  stag  with  a  fine  full- 
grown  cherry  tree  more  than  ten  feet  high  growing  out 
between  his  widespread  antlers.  I  immediately  remem- 
bered my  former  adventure  and  looked  upon  him  as 
my  property.  I  brought  him  to  the  ground  by  one 
shot.  To  the  true  sportsman  comes  quick  reward  in 
field  or  wood  way;  thus  my  good  marksmanship  not 
only  brought  me  a  fine  haunch  of  venison,  but  also  an 
excellent  cherry-sauce,  for  the  tree  was  covered  with  the 
richest  fruit,  the  like  of  which  I  had  never  tasted  before. 

I  trust  that  my  young  Readers  of  tender  hearts  and 
ready  sympathies  will  not  think  me  a  hunter  who  prided 
himself  in  slaughter  for  glory  or  gain.  You  must  under- 
stand that  one  of  my  fine  feelings  and  modesty  should 
not  be  so  misjudged.  I  will,  therefore,  tell  you  of  another 
adventure  that  might  have  ended  ill  for  me  had  I  not 
used  my  quickness  of  thought  and  deftness  of  imagina- 
iton.  Once,  in  a  Polish  forest,  daylight  and  powder 
were  gone. 

Returning  homeward,  a  terrible  bear  made  at  me 
in  great  speed,  his  eyes  flaming  with  hunger  and  his 
jaws  wide  with  the  same  unreasonable  desire.  All 
my  pockets  were  searched   in  an  instant   for   powder 


I   BEHELD  A   NOBLE   STAG 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  137 

and  ball,  but  in  vain.  I  found  nothing  but  two  spare 
flints  used  on  the  hammer  of  my  fowling-piece.  My 
predicament  was  dreadful  and  promised  but  one  ending 
for  me,  namely,  bruin's  dinner.  Being  an  athlete  and  a 
runner  of  some  renown,  I  ran,  exerting  my  prowess  to 
the  utmost.  As  I  was  familiar  with  the  bear's  natural 
awkwardness,  I  followed  no  straight  course,  but  dodged 
and  doubled  in  my  hurried  ways.  In  one  of  my  quick 
turns,  the  bear  stumbled  and  fell.  This  gave  me  the 
opportunity  I  sought,  and  with  great  strength  I  hurled 
one  of  my  flints  at  the  creature's  side.  So  tremendous 
was  the  blow  that  he  was  turned  full  around,  thus  expos- 
ing his  other  side,  at  which  I  let  drive  my  second  flint. 
As  I  had  wisely  planned,  the  flints  met  with  direful  force 
in  the  savage  beast's  inward  parts,  struck  fire,  and  blew 
up  the  bear  with  a  terrible  explosion.  Though  I  came  ofT 
safe  for  the  time,  I  should  not  wish  to  try  it  again,  or 
venture  against  bears  with  such  poor  ammunition. 

I  ofttimes  think  that  my  well-known  bravery  led  me 
into  acts  of  needless  danger  and  a  lack  of  care  for  my 
own  welfare.  The  fiercest  and  most  dangerous  animals 
generally  came  upon  me  when  I  was  defenseless.  They 
seemed  to  have  a  notion  or  instinct  of  this  on  many 
occasions.   Once  a  frightful  wolf  rushed  upon  me  so 


138  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

suddenly  and  so  closely  that  my  running  served  me 
not  at  all.  There  was  nothing  to  do  but  follow  a  simple 
instinct,  and  that  was  to  catch  hold  of  the  nearest  and 
least  resisting  object  at  hand.  This  object  happened  to 
be  the  wolf's  tail,  which  was  unusually  long  and  strong. 
With  strength  born  of  terror,  I  whirled  the  wolf  about 
my  head  and  continued  to  do  so  until  I  came  to  a  tree 
limb  to  which  I  securely  tied  the  wolf  whose  tail  proved 
useful  in  making  the  most  secure  knot.  There  I  left 
him,  saying,  "  The  longer  you  hang,  Sir,  the  more  time 
you  will  have  to  repent  your  rudeness  to  a  gentleman 
who  desired  only  to  return  to  his  home  undisturbed." 

The  same  means  of  self-protection  would  not  have 
answered  against  a  mad  dog,  which  soon  after  came 
running  against  me  in  a  narrow  street  of  Saint  Peters- 
burg. Run,  those  who  can,  I  thought;  and  to  do  this 
the  better,  I  threw  off  my  cloak  and  was  soon  safe 
within  the  doors  of  my  home.  I  sent  my  servant  for 
the  cloak  and  he  put  it  in  the  wardrobe  with  my  other 
clothes.  The  day  after,  I  was  amazed  and  frightened  by 
Jack's  bawling,  "  Oh,  Master,  your  fur  cloak  is  mad  !  " 
I  hastened  to  my  wardrobe  and  found  almost  all  my 
clothes  tossed  about  and  torn  to  pieces. 

My  servant  was  perfectly  right  in  his  opinion  of  my 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 


139 


cloak's  madness.  With  my  own  eyes  I  saw  it  falling 
upon  a  fine  full-dress  suit,  which  it  shook  and  tossed 
in  the  most  unmerciful  manner.  Thinking  this  a  timely 
moment  to  teach  Jack  a  lesson,  I  said,  "  You  will  do 
well  to  observe  the  energy  and  thoroughness  of  the  shak- 
ing the  cloak  gives  the  garments  that  otherwise  would 
long  have  gone  without  a  proper  shaking." 


CHAPTER  XX 


The  Baron  visits  a  ruined  tower  —  Discovers  a  deep 
chasm  and  investigates  its  mysteries  —  An  eagle  carries 
him  off  his  feet  —  A  marvelous  flight  over  the  English 
Channel  and  France  to  the  Rock  of  Gibraltar  —  A  night 
flight  overseas  to  South  America 


CHAPTER  XX 


BOUT  the  beginning  of  his  present  Ma- 
jesty's reign,  some  family  business  mat- 
ters took  me  to  the  Isle  of  Thanet. 
While  there,  when  the  weather  was  fine, 
I  found  great  enjoyment  in  and  much 
benefit  from  my  morning  walks.  After  a 
number  of  these  excursions,  one  day  I  saw  an  object 
upon  a  lofty  hill  about  three  miles  distant.  Being  curi- 
ous, I  lengthened  my  usual  walk  and  found  it  to  be  an 
ancient  ruined  temple  of  great  beauty.  On  the  eastern 
side  were  the  remains  of  a  tower  nearly  forty  feet  high. 
I  examined  the  tower  very  carefully,  thinking  that,  if 
I  could  reach  its  top,  I  should  have  a  fine  view  of  the 
surrounding  country. 

At  last,  by  means  of  the  ivy  that  grew  in  great  abun- 
dance about  it,  I  mounted  the  tower,  but,  I  assure  you, 
not  without  much  difficulty  and  great  danger.  All  of  the 
top  I  found  covered  with  ivy,  except  a  large  bowl-shaped 
chasm  in  the  very  middle.  The  darkness  and  depth  of 
this  hole  excited  my  curiosity.  Perhaps  it  might  lead  to 
an  underground  passage  that  penetrated  the  surround- 
ing hills  !   Having  no  line  with  which  to  sound  its  depth, 


i44  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

I  resolved  to  drop  a  stone  down  and  listen  to  the  echo 
as  it  struck  the  bottom  —  if  bottom  there  was. 

Having  found  a  stone  that  suited  me  perfectly,  I 
placed  myself  over  the  hole,  with  one  foot  on  each  side 
of  it,  and  then  leaned  down  to  listen  as  I  dropped  my 
stone.  Immediately  I  heard  a  rustling  below,  and  sud- 
denly a  monstrous  eagle  thrust  up  its  head  opposite  my 
face,  and,  rising  with  irresistible  force,  carried  me  away 
seated  on  its  large  shoulders !  I  instantly  grasped  the 
bird  about  its  neck,  which  was  large  enough  to  fill  my 
arms.  The  creature's  wings,  when  extended,  were  ten 
yards  from  tip  to  tip. 

As  the  bird  rose  smoothly  and  evenly,  my  seat  was 
easy,  and  I  greatly  enjoyed  the  view  below  me.  My  eagle 
hovered  a  while  over  Margate,  and  was  seen  by  a  num- 
ber of  people.  Many  shots  were  taken  at  us,  and  one 
ball  hit  the  heel  of  my  shoe,  but  did  me  no  injury.  My 
winged  steed,  disliking  the  treatment  from  below  as  much 
as  I,  directed  its  course  to  Dover  Cliff,  where  it  alighted. 
I  thought  of  dismounting,  but  was  prevented  by  a  sud- 
den discharge  of  musketry  from  a  party  of  marines  who 
were  at  target  practice  on  the  beach.  The  bullets  flew 
about  my  head  and  rattled  on  the  feathers  of  the  eagle 
like  hailstones,  but  as  far  as  I  could  see  it  received  no 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  145 

injury.  It  instantly,  and  with  good  reason,  ascended  and 
flew  over  the  sea  toward  Calais,  but  at  so  great  a  height 
that  the  Channel  looked  to  me  no  broader  than  the 
Thames  at  London  Bridge. 

In  about  a  quarter  of  an  hour  I  saw  we  were  over  a 
thick  wood  in  France,  where  my  eagle  descended  ab- 
ruptly, causing  me  to  slip  down  to  the  back  part  of  its 
head.  It  alighted  on  a  large  tree  and  raised  its  head  sud- 
denly, and  I  slid  back  to  my  seat  as  before ;  but  I  had 
no  chance  of  dismounting  from  my  monster  steed  with- 
out the  danger  of  being  killed  by  a  fall.  After  resting  a 
few  minutes,  it  took  wing  and  flew  several  times  around 
the  wood,  screaming  loud  enough  to  be  heard  across  the 
English  Channel. 

In  a  few  minutes  one  of  the  same  species  arose  out 
of  the  wood  and  flew  directly  towards  us.  It  looked  at 
me  with  marks  of  displeasure,  and  came  very  near  to  me, 
but,  deciding  that  I  was  too  small  an  object  to  deserve 
notice,  it  continued  its  flight  beside  its  mate.  After  sev- 
eral turns  above  the  wood,  the  pair  directed  their  course 
to  the  southwest. 

I  soon  observed  that  the  bird  I  rode  could  not  keep 
pace  with  the  other,  but  inclined  towards  the  earth  on 
account  of  my  weight.  Its  companion,  seeing  this,  turned 


i46  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

around  and  placed  itself  directly  ahead  of  my  bird  so 
that  it  could  rest  beak  and  neck  upon  the  stalwart  tail 
of  the  other.  This  act  of  intelligence  and  sympathy 
afforded  me  much  pleasure.  Thus  we  proceeded  until 
noon,  when  I  saw  the  rock  of  Gibraltar  very  plainly. 

The  day  was  fine,  and  the  earth's  surface  appeared 
quite  like  a  map  where  land,  sea,  lakes,  rivers,  mountains, 
and  the  like  were  plain  to  be  seen.  Having  considerable 
knowledge  of  geography,  I  was  at  no  loss  to  decide  what 
part  of  the  globe  I  was  flying  over. 

After  looking  upon  the  scene  stretched  beneath  me 
for  some  time  and  with  great  pleasure,  I  saw  that  my  eagles 
were  about  to  alight  on  the  peak  of  Teneriffe.  With 
a  downright  speed  that  was  terrifying,  they  descended 
upon  the  very  crest  of  the  rock,  but  seeing  no  chance  to 
escape  if  I  dismounted,  I  decided  to  remain  where  I  was. 
My  eagles  settled  down  as  if  much  fatigued  by  their 
long  flight  and  the  added  burden  of  a  passenger.  The 
heat  of  the  sun  soon  caused  them  both  to  fall  asleep,  nor 
could  I  long  resist  a  desire  to  do  likewise. 

But  in  the  cool  of  the  evening  I  was  aroused  from 
sleep  by  the  eagle  moving  beneath  me.  I  had  been 
stretched  full  length  upon  that  feathered  couch,  but  I  sat 
up  immediately,  taking  a  safer  position  for  my  some- 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 


147 


what  hazardous  journey,  and  away  we  hastened  in  the 
direction  of  South  America.  The  moon  was  shining 
brightly  during  the  whole  night  and  I  had  a  fine  view  of 
all  the  islands  in  those  seas. 


CHAPTER  XXI 


The  Baron  continues  his  extraordinary  journey  —  Comes 
to  South  America  —  He  discovers  roast  beef  fruit  and 
escapes  from  a  savage  beast  in  a  remarkable  manner  — 
The  Baron  takes  aboard  ample  provisions  and  continues 
his  aerial  journey 


CHAPTER  XXI 


S  the  sun  rose  the  next  day,  we  reached  the 
great  continent  of  America  and  descended 
upon  a  very  high  mountain.  By  the  dim 
light  I  discovered  growing  most  abun- 
dantly about  us,  a  kind  of  shrubbery 
which  was  bearing  a  fruit  something  like 
the  cabbage.  My  eagles  began  to  feed  upon  it  most  ea- 
gerly. I  then  endeavored  to  learn  something  of  my  situ- 
ation, but  fogs  and  clouds  surrounded  me  in  the  thickest 
darkness,  and  what  made  the  scene  still  more  shocking, 
was  the  hideous  howling  of  wild  beasts,  some  of  which 
seemed  to  be  very  near.  However,  I  considered  it  wise 
to  keep  my  seat,  trusting  that  the  eagle  would  carry  me 
away  if  any  of  the  beasts  should  attack  us. 

When  at  last  the  sun  broke  through  the  fog  and  cloud, 
I  thought  of  examining  the  fruit  which  I  had  seen  the 
eagles  eat.  Some  of  it  was  hanging  within  reach,  and 
with  my  knife  I  cut  a  slice.  How  great  was  my  surprise 
to  see  that  it  had  all  the  appearances  of  roast  beef,  reg- 
ularly mixed,  both  fat  and  lean !  I  tasted  it  and,  finding 
it  well  flavored  and  delicious,  I  cut  several  large  slices, 
putting  them  into  my  pocket,  where  I  discovered  a  crust 


1 52  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

of  bread  which  I  had  brought  from  Margate.  In  this 
very  crust  of  bread  I  found  three  musket  balls  that  had 
become  embedded  in  it,  doubtless  at  the  time  the  marines 
used  my  eagle  and  me  for  target  practice.  I  extracted 
the  bullets,  cut  a  few  more  slices,  and  made  a  hearty 
meal  of  bread  and  cold  beef  fruit. 

I  then  cut  down  two  of  the  largest  and  seemingly 
finest  of  the  beef  fruits,  and,  tying  them  together  with 
my  garters,  I  hung  them  over  the  eagle's  neck  for  future 
use.  While  I  was  settling  these  affairs,  I  discovered  an- 
other variety  of  large  fruit  that  looked  like  an  inflated 
bladder.  Being  so  well  rewarded  in  my  first  investigation 
of  the  fruit  of  this  country,  I  had  a  great  desire  to  con- 
tinue my  discoveries,  and  I  thrust  my  knife  into  one  of 
them.  A  fine,  pure  liquid  like  Holland  gin  burst  forth, 
which  the  eagles,  observing,  eagerly  drank  from  pools 
upon  the  ground.  I  cut  down  the  bladder  as  soon  as  I 
could  and  saved  about  a  half-pint,  which  I  tasted  and 
could  not  distinguish  from  the  best  mountain  wine.  I 
drank  all  that  remained,  and  found  myself  greatly  re- 
freshed. 

In  the  meantime,  my  eagles,  not  being  used  to  strong 
drink,  began  to  stagger  against  the  shrubs.  I  tried  to 
keep  my  seat,  but  was   soon  thrown  to  some  distance 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  153 

among  the  bushes.  In  attempting  to  rise  I  thrust  my 
hand  upon  a  large  hedgehog  which  chanced  to  be  lying 
on  the  grass  upon  its  back.  Immediately  the  animal 
closed  round  my  hand  so  that  it  was  impossible  to  shake 
it  off.  I  struck  it  several  times  upon  the  ground,  but  with- 
out effect.  While  thus  employed  with  the  creature  that 
was  so  much  attached  to  me,  I  heard  a  rustling  among 
the  shrubbery,  and  looking  up  I  saw  a  huge  animal 
within  three  yards  of  me.  I  could  make  no  proper  de- 
fense, but  held  out  both  my  hands.  The  wild  creature 
rushed  upon  me  and  seized  the  hand  to  which  the 
hedgehog  was  so  firmly  fixed.  My  hand  was  soon  re- 
leased, and,  having  run  some  distance,  I  saw  the  creature 
who  attacked  me  suddenly  fall  and  expire  with  the  hedge- 
hog in  its  throat.  Doubtless  the  death  of  this  animal  was 
painful,  but  not  undeserved,  for  had  it  not  attacked  one 
who  not  only  was  innocent,  but  unoffending  ? 

When  the  danger  was  over,  I  went  to  look  for  my 
eagles  and  found  them  on  the  grass  fast  asleep,  doubt- 
less overcome  more  by  the  wine  fruit  than  by  their  long 
flight.  Indeed,  I  was  myself  somewhat  elevated  by  the 
juice  of  this  remarkable  fruit.  Everything  being  quiet, 
I  cut  down  some  fine  examples,  each  of  which  contained 
about  a  gallon  of  juice.   These  I  tied  together  and  slung 


154  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

across  the  neck  of  the  eagle  that  carried  no  burden. 
Two  more  small  ones  I  tied  around  my  own  waist. 
Thus  I  secured  a  good  stock  of  provisions,  and  waited 
for  my  birds  to  recover  from  their  unexpected  naps. 

Presently,  observing  that  the  eagles  showed  marked 
signs  of  recovery,  I  again  took  my  seat  and  waited  with 
some  impatience  for  them  to  continue  their  flight.  Be- 
ing fully  satisfied  with  the  discoveries  I  had  made  in  this 
part  of  the  world,  I  was  anxious  to  continue  adventures 
which  I  knew  would  be  not  only  interesting  to  myself, 
but  of  great  value  to  the  world.  At  last  the  birds  rose 
with  great  speed  and  vigor.  Directing  their  course  to 
the  north,  they  crossed  the  Gulf  of  Mexico,  passed  over 
North  America,  and  steered  directly  for  the  Polar  Re- 
gions. This  gave  me  the  finest  chance  possible  to  view 
this  vast  continent. 

When  we  entered  the  frigid  zone  the  cold  began  to 
affect  me ;  but  my  usual  fortitude  and  endurance  held 
me  superior  to  the  distress  of  cold  or  the  inconvenience 
of  travel.  Passing  over  Hudson  Bay,  I  saw  several  of  the 
company's  ships  lying  at  anchor,  and  many  tribes  of 
Indians  marching  with  their  furs  to  market. 

By  this  time  I  had  become  a  very  expert  eagle-rider 
and  could  sit  upright  and  observe  what  passed  beneath 


AT  LAST  THE   BIRDS   ROSE   WITH   GREAT   SPEED   AND  VIGOR 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  155 

me,  but  nevertheless  I  was  generally  outstretched  along 
the  eagle's  neck  grasping  it  with  my  arms,  my  hands 
being  thrust  among  the  bird's  feathers  to  keep  them  per- 
fectly warm. 

The  eagles  continued  their  flight  with  terrifying  speed 
over  vast  fields  of  ice  and  barren  stretches  of  snow. 
While  my  mind  was  filled  with  many  thoughts  and  much 
concern  for  my  own  safety,  the  eagle  which  led  our 
strange  flight  struck  its  head  against  a  solid,  transparent 
object  and  in  a  moment  the  one  I  rode  suffered  the  same 
fate,  and  both  fell  downwards,  seemingly  dead. 

Here  and  now  we  would  all  have  been  killed,  had  not  a 
sense  of  danger  given  me  the  cleverness  and  skill  to  save 
myself  and  my  eagles  from  a  downright  fall  of  more 
than  two  miles.  No  sooner  did  I  see  the  eagles  strike  the 
frozen  cloud  (which  was  common  in  this  neighborhood) 
than  I  laid  myself  along  the  back  of  the  foremost  eagle 
and  took  hold  of  its  wings  to  keep  them  extended  as  in 
usual  flight.  As  for  the  one  I  had  been  riding,  I  stretched 
out  my  legs  behind  supporting  its  wings  in  like  manner. 
This  had  the  effect  desired,  for  we  descended,  slowly  and 
safely,  by  gliding.  You  doubtless  have  often  observed  such 
descending  by  hawks  and  other  large  birds.  With  no 
injury  I  thus  guided  my  stricken  eagles  safely  to  a  moun- 


156  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

tain  of  ice  which  I  supposed  to  be  about  three  miles 
above  the  level  of  the  sea. 

Our  delivery  was  surely  a  miracle !  I  dismounted,  un- 
loaded the  eagles,  and  then  gave  each  some  of  the  restor- 
ative wine.  My  thought  was  first  for  those  faithful  birds, 
and  none  of  the  horrors  that  surrounded  us  moved  me 
in  any  way.  The  roaring  of  the  waves,  crashing  of  ice, 
and  the  howling  of  bears  combined  to  make  my  dilemma 
awful  and  tremendous.  But  so  great  was  my  concern  for 
the  recovery  of  the  eagles  that  I  did  not  notice  the  dan- 
gers to  which  I  was  exposed.  I  stood  over  them  in  trem- 
bling anxiety,  knowing  that  it  was  only  by  means  of  them 
that  I  could  possibly  be  delivered  from  my  desperate 
predicament. 

Suddenly  a  monstrous  bear  began  to  roar  behind  me 
with  a  voice  like  thunder.  I  turned  around  and  beheld 
the  beast  just  ready  to  devour  me  !  But  a  few  moments 
before,  as  you  know,  I  had  been  administering  the  wine 
to  my  poor  eagles,  and  the  bladder  containing  that  pre- 
cious liquor  was  still  in  my  hands.  A  spasm  of  fear 
seized  me  and  in  turn  I  gripped  the  wine-bladder  with 
such  force  that  it  burst  and  sent  the  liquid  in  a  powerful 
stream  into  the  bear's  eyes.  This  for  the  time  totally 
deprived  the  creature  of  sight,  and  it  turned  from  me 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  157 

instantly  and  ran  away  in  a  state  of  bewilderment  and 
terror. 

The  danger  being  over,  I  turned  my  attention  to  the 
eagles,  whom  I  found  in  a  fair  way  of  recovery.  Suspect- 
ing that  they  might  be  faint  from  want  of  food,  I  took 
a  beef  fruit,  cut  it  into  small  slices,  and  gave  it  to  them. 
Much  to  my  satisfaction  and  their  own  pleasure,  the  beef 
fruit  was  devoured  instantly. 

Having  given  them  plenty  to  eat  and  drink,  and  ar- 
ranged the  remainder  of  my  provisions,  I  took  my  seat 
upon  my  especial  eagle  as  before.  After  composing  my- 
self I  settled  down  to  a  good  meal,  which  you  must  allow 
I  certainly  deserved.  All  those  matters  being  arranged, 
I  deemed  it  wise,  with  my  own  hands,  to  point  the  heads 
of  both  eagles  towards  the  southeast,  as  England  lay  in 
that  direction.  Presently  off  we  flew,  and  in  a  few  hours 
I  beheld  with  great  joy  the  shores  of  Old  England. 

The  eagles  descended  gradually  as  we  drew  near 
shore,  intending,  as  I  supposed,  to  alight  on  one  of  the 
Welsh  mountains.  But  when  they  came  within  sixty 
yards  of  the  nearest  elevation  two  guns  were  fired  at 
them,  loaded  with  heavy  balls.  One  of  the  balls  lodged 
in  a  beef  fruit  that  hung  from  my  waist ;  the  other,  alas, 
entered  the  breast  of  the  foremost  eagle,  who  fell  to  the 


158  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

ground,  while  the  one  which  I  rode,  having  received  no 
injury,  flew  away  with  amazing  swiftness. 

This  last  experience  alarmed  me  greatly,  and  I  began 
to  think  it  would  be  impossible  for  me  to  escape  with 
my  life;  but,  recovering  a  little,  I  once  more  looked 
down  upon  the  earth.  Much  to  my  delight,  I  saw  the 
familiar  surroundings  of  Margate  at  a  little  distance. 
Presently  the  eagle  descended  on  the  old  tower  whence 
it  had  carried  me  on  the  morning  of  the  day  before.  It 
no  sooner  came  down  than  I  threw  myself  from  its  back, 
happy  to  find  that  I  was  once  more  restored  to  the  world. 
The  eagle  flew  away  in  a  few  moments,  and  I  sat  down 
to  compose  my  fluttering  spirits,  which  I  did  in  a  few 
hours. 

As  soon  as  I  could  do  so  I  paid  a  visit  to  my  friends 
and  related  the  adventures  which  I  have  just  told  to  you, 
my  young  Readers.  As  with  you,  amazement  marked 
every  countenance.  Congratulations  and  compliments 
were  showered  upon  me,  and  we  passed  an  evening  of 
great  enjoyment,  every  person  present  continuing  to 
pay  many  repeated  compliments  to  my  Courage  and 
Veracity. 


CHAPTER  XXII 


The  Baron  insists  upon  the  veracity  of  his  Memoirs  — 
He  forms  a  design  of  making  discoveries  in  the  interior 
parts  of  Africa — He  calls  upon  his  illustrious  friend, 
Hilaro  Frosticos  —  The  Baron  prepares  for  his  journey 

—  Description  of  his  chariot :  the  beauties  and  comforts 
of  the  marvelous  vehicle ;  the  animals  that  drew  it  and 
the  mechanism  of  its  wheels  —  Brief  advice  to  young 
adventurers  seeking  to  follow  the  Baron's  glorious  career 

—  The  Baron  convoys  a  squadron  to  Gibraltar — His 
chariot  is  damaged  by  Pompey's  Pillar — He  splits  a 
great  rock  at  the  Cape  of  Good  Hope  and  thereby  names 
a  mountain. 


CHAPTER  XXII 


SHALL  not  believe  for  a  moment  that  my 
young  Readers  doubt  the  truth  of  all  I  have 
related,  for  your  hardy  spirits,  like  mine,  go 
afield  into  wonders  and  adventure  as  natu- 
rally as  the  eagle  wings  its  uninterrupted 
path  across  glorious  heights  skyward.  If 
there  be  any  one  of  mature  years  who  questions  my 
veracity,  I  will  meet  him  with  any  weapon  he  may  select 
at  any  time  or  place.  Thus,  having  recorded  myself  as 
not  only  truthful  but  undaunted,  I  will  proceed  with 
my  narrative,  counting  upon  your  unshaken  belief  and 
unfailing  sympathy. 

Yes,  I  passed  some  time  in  England  recuperating  from 
the  strain  and  ardor  of  certain  adventures,  but,  like  you, 
I  soon  became  restive  and  longed  to  be  out  upon  others. 
This  longing  took  hold  of  my  spirit  with  great  force,  turn- 
ing my  mind  continually  to  the  thought  of  what  a  great 
field  of  discovery  lay  in  the  interior  parts  of  Africa.  I 
could  neither  sleep  nor  eat  for  the  imaginings  that  stirred 
me.  I  therefore  determined  to  gain  all  proper  support 
from  the  Government  to  penetrate  the  source  of  the  Nile 
and  claim  the  viceroyship  of  the  interior  kingdoms  of 


1 61  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

Africa,  for  I  could  think  of  no  one  better  fitted  than 
myself  to  fill  a  part  of  such  importance  and  grandeur. 

Happily  for  me,  I  had  a  most  powerful  friend  at 
court  whom,  for  the  sake  of  wisdom,  I  shall  call  the 
illustrious  Hilaro  Frosticos.  After  passing  another  night 
of  sleeplessness,  due  to  the  burning  imagination  of  my 
discoveries  in  Africa,  I  hastened  to  my  friend  and  con- 
fided my  hopes  and  intentions.  He  gravely  considered 
my  words  and,  after  some  awful  meditations,  assured  me 
that  I  of  all  men  living  was  most  fitted  to  meet  and  sur- 
mount the  adventures  and  obstacles  attending  so  noble 
a  purpose.  He  furthermore  assured  me  that  such  wealth, 
power,  and  influence  as  were  his  might  be  considered 
mine  to  use  without  let  or  hindrance.  Having  thus 
proved  his  friendship  and  provided  his  patronage,  he 
said  gravely : 

"  Sir,  your  determination  and  courage  deserve  the 
gratitude  and  admiration  of  all  mankind,  and  it  gives 
me  great  pride  and  satisfaction  to  be  of  assistance  to  one 
so  noble  and  self-sacrificing.  The  honor  I  shall  gain  as 
reflected  from  you,  Sir,  will  set  me  high  in  the  esteem  of 
all  England  and  the  watchful  world.  Come,  let  us  be  off 
and  prepare  immediately  such  matters  as  are  necessary 
to  an  errand  so  important  and  patriotic.' ' 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  163 

I  will  not  burden  you,  my  young  Readers,  with  a 
long  description  of  the  many  details  that  followed  and 
were  so  necessary  to  my  honor  and  comfort,  but  some 
brief  words  should  be  given  to  the  chariot  provided  for 
my  departure  and  for  the  speedy  and  miraculous  passage 
into  fields  of  romance,  adventure,  and  discovery. 

This  chariot  was  of  enormous  size,  in  form  like  unto 
an  hazelnut  of  mammoth  proportions.  The  wheels  con- 
sisted of  upwards  of  ten  thousand  springs  formed  so  as 
to  give  great  impetuosity  to  the  vehicle ;  and  it  is  need- 
less to  tell  you  that  those  wheels  were  more  complex 
than  a  dozen  clocks  like  that  of  Strasbourg.  To  give 
added  buoyancy  to  its  great  weight,  balloons  of  impos- 
ing magnitude  were  cleverly  attached.  The  interior  of 
my  chariot  was  most  commodious,  gloriously  decorated, 
and  fitted  with  every  luxury  and  comfort. 

This  astounding  vehicle  was  drawn  by  a  team  of  nine 
bulls,  harnessed  to  it  three  after  three.  These  noble 
beasts  were  shod,  not  with  iron  as  is  customary,  but 
with  the  crowns  and  coronets  of  kings  and  nobles,  con- 
tributed for  this  especial  purpose.  After  sufficient  heated 
air  had  been  forced  into  them,  a  special  cement  or  paste 
was  applied  to  each  shoe,  thus  assuring  buoyancy  and 
permanence.  With  these  shoes  the  creatures  could  make 


1 64  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

astonishing  journeys  over  earth  or  sea  with  great  veloc- 
ity. The  harnesses  were  fastened  with  golden  buckles 
and  decked  with  jewels  of  great  value. 

You  will  be  especially  interested  in  the  postilions 
provided  :  these  were  nine  crickets,  as  large  as  monkeys, 
who  sat  squat  upon  the  heads  of  the  bullocks  and  were 
continually  chirping  at  a  most  infernal  rate,  loud  in 
proportion  to  their  unusual  size. 

The  exterior  of  this  wonderful  carriage  was  adorned 
with  banners  and  a  superb  festoon  of  laurel  which  had 
at  one  time  shaded  one  upon  horseback. 

Now,  having  given  you  a  very  clear  description  of 
my  machine  for  traveling  to  Africa,  I  shall  proceed  to 
relate  the  exploits  of  my  voyage.  I  wish  to  add,  how- 
ever, that  ambitious  boys  who  strive  to  build  a  chariot 
like  mine  (as  doubtless  they  will)  must  observe  great  care 
in  harnessing  the  bullocks,  for  these  creatures  are  not 
only  restive,  but  often  inconsiderate  with  their  heels  and 
horns.  As  to  the  cricket  postilions,  I  should  advise  a  long 
and  patient  training  in  manners.  Insects  of  this  variety 
and  size  are  often  unruly  when  each  annoys  the  other  by 
chirpings  that  are  more  confusing  than  helpful. 

Taking  the  reins  in  hand,  as  music  gave  a  salute,  I 
cracked  my  whip  over  the  backs  of  my  restive  bullocks 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  165 

and  away  we  flew.  Within  three  hours  I  found  myself 
between  the  Isle  of  Wight  and  the  mainland  of  Eng- 
land. Here  I  remained  four  days  until  I  had  received 
part  of  my  accompaniment,  which  I  was  ordered  to 
convoy.  'Twas  a  squadron  of  men-of-war  that  had  been 
prepared  for  the  Baltic,  but  which  were  now  destined  for 
the  Mediterranean.  With  the  assistance  of  large  hooks 
and  eyes  like  those  worn  in  our  hats  but  of  some  hundred- 
weight each,  the  men-of-war  hooked  themselves  to  my 
chariot.  In  fact,  nothing  could  be  simpler  or  more  con- 
venient, for  they  could  be  hooked  or  unhooked  in  an  in- 
stant with  perfect  ease  and  safety. 

Again  I  cracked  my  whip  to  the  encouraging  salute 
of  artillery.  We  were  instantly  going  at  a  prodigious 
speed,  and  in  six  jiffies  I  found  myself  and  all  my  retinue 
safe  and  in  good  spirits  under  the  Rock  of  Gibraltar. 
Here  I  unhooked  my  squadron  and  allowed  the  vessels 
to  proceed  in  the  ordinary  manner  to  the  place  of  their 
destination. 

I  was  now  free  to  continue  unencumbered  my  jour- 
ney to  the  Isle  of  Candia.  Having  been  properly  re- 
freshed at  that  place,  I  proceeded  and  in  a  short  time 
arrived  in  the  land  of  Egypt.  I  have  little  of  importance 
to  tell  of  this  stage  of  my  journey  save  that  a  slight  mis- 


166  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

hap  befell  my  chariot  when  its  wheels  became  entangled 
with  the  Pillar  of  Pompey,  the  Needle  of  Cleopatra,  and 
a  pyramid  or  two,  but,  undaunted  and  undisturbed,  my 
bullocks  trotted  on  with  astonishing  speed  across  the 
Isthmus  of  Suez  into  the  Red  Sea.  As  we  rode  at  so 
terrific  a  rate,  we  left  a  track  across  the  barren  country 
which  by  certain  wiseacres  is  said  to  be  an  ancient  canal 
cut  by  the  Ptolemies  from  the  Red  Sea  to  the  Mediter- 
ranean, but  was  in  reality,  as  my  young  Readers  per- 
ceive, no  more  or  less  than  the  wheel  tracks  of  my  mar- 
velous chariot. 

My  coach  springs  and  wheels  being  somewhat  dam- 
aged, I  believed  it  unwise  to  continue  my  journey  south- 
ward and  overland  across  the  great  marble  mountains 
at  the  source  of  the  Nile,  and  I  hastened  on  my  way  as 
best  I  could  by  sea  to  the  Cape  of  Good  Hope.  The 
surface  of  the  water  gave  less  resistance  to  the  wheels 
of  my  machine,  and  it  passed  along  the  waves  like  the 
chariot  of  Neptune.  In  short,  we  scudded  away  to  the 
western  coast  of  Africa,  where  even  Alexander  had  not 
courage  to  venture.  I  drove  on  with  amazing  rapidity, 
but  unfortunately  ran  too  close  to  the  Cape  and  com- 
pletely shivered  the  rock  in  a  horizontal  direction.  The 
summit  of  the  mountain  was  knocked  into  the  sea,  and 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 


167 


the  steep  mountain  thereby  flattened  at  the  top;  hence 
this  spot  has  since  borne  the  name  of  Table  Mountain 
from  its  similarity  to  that  piece  of  furniture. 

But  alas,  young  Readers,  my  noble  chariot  was  badly 
damaged  and  in  need  of  repair,  and  I  was  obliged  to  con- 
sider other  means  of  travel  if  I  would  continue  my  jour- 
ney as  my  will  and  spirit  demanded.  I  have  observed, 
however,  that  those  whose  courage  equals  their  determi- 
nation find  naught  that  can  daunt  their  spirits  or  prevent 
the  reward  of  such  heroism.  I  have  no  doubt  that  you 
find  this  your  own  experience,  and  I  sincerely  commend 
you  therefor. 


CHAPTER  XXIII 


The  Baron  leaves  his  chariot  at  the  Cape  of  Good  Hope 
and  returns  by  ship  to  England — Wrecked  on  an  island 
of  ice  —  The  Baron  and  crew  tow  the  island  back  to 
England  —  The  Privy  Council  supports  another  expedi- 
tion—  Description  of  the  vehicle  and  the  Sphinx  —  The 
Baron's  retinue  starts  upon  the  journey  into  the  heart  of 
Africa 


CHAPTER  XXIII 

ITH  grief  and  consternation  I  considered  the 
disaster  to  my  chariot,  but  great  minds  are 
never  thwarted  by  adversity.  With  permis- 
sion of  the  Dutch  Governor,  my  machine 
was  stored,  and  the  bullocks  received  every 
refreshment  provided  after  so  terrible  a 
voyage.  As  I  could  do  no  more,  I  took  passage  in  an 
Indiaman  bound  for  London  with  the  intention  of  laying 
the  matter  before  the  Privy  Council. 

Nothing  of  great  import  occurred  until  we  arrived  off 
the  coast  of  Guinea,  when,  to  our  complete  astonishment, 
we  beheld  an  enormous  hill,  seemingly  composed  of  glass, 
advancing  against  us  in  the  open  sea.  I  immediately 
knew  it  to  be  an  island  of  ice  and  determined  to  make 
all  possible  speed  from  such  horrible  danger.  We  did  so, 
but  all  in  vain,  for  about  eleven  o'clock  at  night,  we  were 
struck  by  the  rapidly  advancing  island. 

The  terror,  the  shrieks,  and  despair  of  the  whole  crew 
were  unspeakable  until  I,  knowing  there  was  not  a  mo- 
ment to  be  lost,  cheered  their  spirits  and  bade  them  not 
despond,  but  do  as  I  should  request  them.  In  a  few 
minutes  the  ship  was  half  full  of  water,  and  the  enormous 


172  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

castle  of  ice  hemmed  us  in  on  every  side  as  great  frag- 
ments from  its  sides  fell  upon  our  ill-fated  vessel.  Climb- 
ing to  the  very  top  of  a  mast,  I  managed  to  make  it  fast 
to  a  great  projection  of  ice,  and,  calling  to  the  crew  to 
follow  me,  we  all  escaped  from  the  wreck  by  scrambling 
to  the  summit  of  the  island. 

The  rising  sun  gave  us  a  dreadful  picture  of  our  situa- 
tion. Our  ship  overnight  had  been  closed  in  on  all  sides 
with  great  masses  of  ice  and  was  absolutely  buried  in 
such  a  manner  that  we  could  see  her  at  great  depth  under 
our  feet.  Having  debated  what  was  best  to  be  done,  we 
cut  down  through  the  ice  and  got  some  cables  of  the 
vessel  and  also  the  boats,  which,  making  fast  to  the  island, 
we  towed  it  with  all  our  might,  determined  to  bring  all 
home  or  perish  in  the  attempt. 

On  the  top  of  the  ice  mountain  we  spread  what  oakum, 
dregs,  and  refuse  we  could  find  in  the  vessel,  which,  in  a 
few  hours,  on  account  of  the  sun  and  the  melting  of  the 
ice,  became  an  excellent  fertilizer.  Having  some  seeds  of 
rare  vegetables  in  my  pocket,  we  shortly  had  a  fine  crop  of 
fruits  and  roots  growing  on  our  inhospitable  island.  The 
growth  was  so  abundant  that  our  whole  crew  was  sup- 
plied; the  breadfruit-tree  and  a  tree  bearing  plum  pudding, 
hot  and  served  with  sauces,  especially  delighted  the  sailors. 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  173 

After  weeks  of  incredible  fatigue  from  continual  tow- 
ing, we  arrived  in  England,  and  I  immediately  laid  be- 
fore the  Privy  Council  a  statement  of  my  voyage,  beg- 
ging immediate  assistance  to  travel  into  Africa  and,  if 
possible,  refit  my  former  chariot.  Everything  was  in- 
stantly granted  to  my  satisfaction,  and  I  received  orders 
to  get  myself  ready  for  departure  as  soon  as  possible. 

I  shortly  learned  that  the  Emperor  of  China  had  sent, 
as  a  present  in  my  honor,  a  most  curious  animal  which 
for  some  time  had  been  confined  in  the  Tower.  A  most 
fitting  creature,  indeed,  to  attend  me  upon  my  contin- 
ued discoveries  in  Africa.  She  was  called  Sphinx  and 
was  one  of  the  most  tremendous  though  magnificent 
figures  I  had  ever  beheld.  She  was  harnessed  with 
superb  trappings  to  a  large  flat-bottomed  boat  upon 
which  was  a  building  of  wood  exactly  resembling  West- 
minster Hall.  Two  balloons  were  placed  over  it,  attached 
by  a  number  of  ropes  to  the  boat,  to  keep  up  a  proper 
equilibrium  and  prevent  it  from  overturning. 

In  this  magnificent  structure  we  advanced,  sailing 
gently  into  the  open  sea.  It  being  calm  weather,  we 
could  scarcely  feel  the  motion  of  the  vehicle  and  passed 
our  time  in  grand  discussion  upon  the  glorious  intention 
of  our  voyage  and  the  important  discoveries  that  would 


174  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

be  made  by  me.  I  neglected  to  tell  you  that  our  noble 
Sphinx  was  ridden  astride  by  the  brave  Count  Gos- 
samer who  at  times  was  merciless  and  ill-tempered  in 
the  use  of  his  outrageous  spurs.  This  treatment  could 
not  be  endured  by  a  creature  so  high-spirited  as  our 
Sphinx,  and,  with  a  wild  plunge,  she  cast  the  Count,  like 
a  sky-rocket,  far  out  to  sea.  The  fellow  suffered  no 
injury,  however,  for  from  my  exalted  seat  I  could  see 
him  clutching  the  side  of  a  precipitous  cliff  at  least  forty 
leagues  distant. 

The  loss  of  Count  Gossamer  necessitated  my  assum- 
ing control  as  well  as  command ;  accordingly,  I  steered 
directly  to  the  Cape  of  Good  Hope.  Arriving  at  the 
Cape,  I  immediately  gave  orders  to  repair  my  former 
chariot  and  proceeded  with  due  pomp  and  proper  pride 
upon  my  journey. 

With  my  whole  retinue,  including  my  friends,  Gog 
and  Magog,  we  made  speed  into  the  heart  of  Africa. 
We  journeyed  nearly  due  north  for  several  days  and 
met  with  nothing  remarkable  except  the  astonishment 
of  the  savage  natives  who  beheld  our  equipage,  which 
was,  indeed,  marvelous  in  magnitude,  but  not  unfitting 
for  the  importance  of  its  errand  and  those  it  conveyed. 


CHAPTER  XXIV 


The  Baron  passes  into  the  heart  of  Africa,  proceeding 
from  the  Cape  northwards  —  His  ingenuity  defeats  a  host 
of  lions  by  a  curious  stratagem  —  The  Baron  travels 
through  an  immense  desert  —  His  company,  chariot,  etc., 
are  covered  by  a  whirlwind  of  sand  —  He  extricates  his 
party  and  arrives  in  a  fertile  country  of  great  beauty 


CHAPTER  XXIV 


HE  Dutch  Government  at  the  Cape,  to  do 
them  justice,  gave  us  all  possible  assistance 
for  the  expedition.  The  country  through 
which  we  advanced  appeared  in  many 
places  to  be  capable  of  every  cultivation 
and  of  abundant  fertility.  The  natives  and 
the  Hottentots  of  this  part  of  Africa  have  been  often 
described  to  you  by  travelers,  and  it  is  not  necessary  to 
say  more  about  them.  But  in  the  more  interior  parts, 
the  appearance,  manners,  and  genius  of  the  people  are 
totally  different. 

We  directed  our  course  by  compass  and  the  stars, 
every  day  getting  prodigious  quantities  of  game  and  at 
night  camping  within  a  proper  enclosure  for  fear  of  the 
wild  beasts.  One  day,  in  particular,  we  heard  on  every 
side  the  horrible  roaring  of  lions  resounding  from  rock 
to  rock  like  broken  thunder.  It  seemed  as  if  it  was  the 
meeting-place  of  all  those  savage  animals  to  fall  upon 
our  party.  That  whole  day  we  advanced  with  great 
caution,  our  hunters  scarcely  venturing  beyond  pistol- 
shot  from  our  caravan  for  fear  of  a  hideous  death.    At 


178  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

night  we  camped  as  usual  and  threw  up  a  circular  en- 
trenchment about  our  tents.  We  had  scarcely  retired  to 
repose  when  we  found  ourselves  serenaded  by  at  least 
one  thousand  lions,  approaching  with  an  even  front  on 
every  side  and  within  a  hundred  paces. 

Our  cattle  showed  symptoms  of  horror,  all  trembling 
and  in  cold  perspiration.  I  directly  ordered  our  whole 
company  to  stand  at  arms  and  not  to  make  any  noise 
by  firing  until  I  should  command  them.  I  then  took  a 
quantity  of  tar  and  strewed  it  in  a  continuous  stream 
around  the  encampment,  within  which  circle  of  tar  I 
immediately  placed  a  train  or  circle  of  gunpowder.  I 
then  anxiously  awaited  the  approach  of  the  lions.  These 
dreadful  animals,  knowing,  I  presume,  the  number  of 
our  company,  advanced  cautiously,  but  from  all  sides  at 
an  equal  pace,  roaring  in  hideous  concert  so  as  to  re- 
semble an  earthquake  or  some  similar  convulsion  of  the 
world. 

When  the  beasts  had  at  length  advanced  and  soaked 
their  paws  in  tar  and  had  otherwise  bedaubed  their  bushy 
hair  and  whiskers,  I  knew  that  the  moment  of  my  tri- 
umph had  come.  At  the  exact  instant  the  creatures  were 
about  to  make  their  deadly  charge  upon  us,  I  discharged 
my  pistol  into  the  train  of  gunpowder,  which,  of  course, 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  179 

exploded  on  every  side,  making  the  lions  recoil  in  gen- 
eral uproar  and  take  flight  with  utmost  haste  and  fright- 
ful panic. 

In  an  instant  we  could  see  the  beasts  scattered  through 
the  forest,  roaring  in  agony  and  whirling  about  like  so 
many  Will-o'-the- Wisps,  their  shaggy  coats  afire  from  the 
tar  and  gunpowder.  I  then  ordered  a  general  pursuit. 
We  followed  them  on  every  side  through  the  dense  woods, 
their  own  light  serving  as  a  guide.  Until  sunrise  we  pur- 
sued them  to  their  lairs  and  shot  or  otherwise  destroyed 
every  one  of  them.  During  the  whole  of  our  journey  we 
never  heard  the  roaring  of  a  lion,  nor  did  any  wild  beast 
presume  to  make  another  attack  upon  our  party.  After 
this  adventure  I  was  more  than  convinced  of  the  value 
of  immediate  presence  of  mind  which  gives  terror  to  the 
most  savage  of  enemies.  I  am  also  convinced  that  the 
bravery  of  a  gentleman  and  soldier  meets  all  terrifying 
situations  with  composure,  knowing  that  valor  is,  in  itself, 
mastery  unchallenged. 

After  many  dangers  and  discomforts  natural  to  that 
part  of  the  world,  we  at  length  arrived  at  the  border  of 
an  immeasurable  desert,  extending  on  every  side  of  us 
like  an  ocean.  Not  a  tree  or  shrub  or  blade  of  grass 
was  to   be  seen.   The  great  expanse  was  of  extremely 


180  THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 

fine  sand,  mixed  with  gold  dust  and  small  sparkling 
pearls. 

The  gold  dust  and  pearls  seemed  to  have  little  value 
to  us  because  we  had  no  hope  of  returning  to  England 
for  some  time.  Presently  we  observed,  at  a  great  dis- 
tance, something  like  a  smoke  arising  over  the  verge  of 
the  horizon.  With  our  telescopes  we  perceived  it  to  be 
a  whirlwind  tearing  up  the  sand  and  tossing  it  about  in 
the  heavens  with  frightful  fury.  I  immediately  ordered 
our  company  to  erect  a  mound  of  great  size  around  us. 
This  was  done  with  astonishing  labor  and  perseverance, 
and  we  then  roofed  it  over  with  planks  and  timbers 
which  we  had  with  us  for  that  purpose.  Our  labor  was 
scarcely  finished  when  the  sand  came  rolling  upon  us 
like  the  waves  of  the  sea;  'twas  a  storm  and  river  of 
sand  united.  It  continued  to  advance  from  the  same 
direction  for  three  days  and  completely  covered  the 
mound  we  had  erected,  burying  us  all  within. 

The  intense  heat  of  the  place  was  intolerable.  But 
guessing,  by  the  cessation  of  the  noise,  that  the  storm 
had  passed,  we  set  about  digging  a  passage  to  the  light 
of  day  again ;  this  feat  we  accomplished  in  a  short  time. 
Ascending,  we  found  that  the  whole  of  our  protective 
structure  had  been  so  completely  covered  by  the  sand 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN  181 

that  there  appeared  no  hills,  but  one  continued  plain 
with  inequalities  or  ridges  on  it  like  the  waves  of  the 
sea.  We  soon  extricated  our  vehicle  and  retinue  from 
the  burning  sands,  but  not  without  great  danger,  as  the 
heat  was  most  intense. 

Storms  of  a  similar  nature  several  times  attacked  us, 
but  by  using  the  same  precautions,  we  repeatedly  pre- 
served ourselves  from  destruction.  Having  traveled  more 
than  nine  thousand  miles  over  this  burning  desert,  ex- 
posed to  the  direct  rays  of  a  scorching  sun,  without 
coming  upon  a  rivulet  or  shower  from  heaven  to  refresh 
us,  we  became  in  time  almost  desperate. 

At  last,  to  our  great  joy,  we  beheld  some  mountains 
at  a  great  distance  and  on  nearer  approach  observed 
them  covered  with  a  carpet  of  verdure,  groves,  and 
woods.  Nothing  could  be  more  romantic  or  beautiful 
than  the  rocks  and  precipices  intermingled  with  flowers 
and  shrubs  of  every  kind,  and  palm-trees  of  such  prodi- 
gious size  as  to  surpass  anything  to  be  seen  in  Europe. 

Trees  of  every  variety  grew  wild  in  the  greatest 
abundance ;  antelopes  and  sheep  and  buffaloes  wandered 
about  groves  and  valleys  in  profusion.  The  trees  re- 
sounded with  the  tuneful  melody  of  gorgeous  birds  and 
everything  showed  a  scene  of  rural  peace  and  joy. 


Ib2 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 


In  sooth,  Dame  Nature  in  her  glory  vied 
With  Heaven's  dome,  all  glorious,  thus  to  pay 

Homage  to  one  whose  courage  had  defied 
Night's  haunting  fears  and  obstacles  of  day. 

Now,  dear  young  Readers,  having  overcome  un- 
heard-of obstacles  and  at  last  arrived  safely  in  the  par- 
adise I  have  described,  in  what  more  fitting  place  could 
I  leave  you  and  your  memories  of  my  unequaled  ad- 
ventures? To  be  sure,  my  continued  journeys  took  me 
deep  into  the  heart  of  Africa,  where,  as  usual,  I  met 
and  overcame  every  enemy  and  obstacle,  and  in  due 
time  Fate  carried  me  into  the  untracked  wilds  of  the 
Americas,  where  I  and  all  my  retinue  lost  our  scalps. 
But  again  my  bravery  and  presence  of  mind  were  the 
means  not  only  of  regaining  all  losses  (which  were  re- 
placed in  proper  order),  but  of  overcoming  the  savages 
who  had  so  cruelly  treated  me  and  my  companions. 

In  due  time  and  after  many  other  trials  and  tri- 
umphs, I  returned  to  England,  where  the  Privy  Coun- 
cil rewarded  me  most  fittingly  for  my  wisdom  and  un- 
exampled courage  and  endurance.  It  is  needless  to  say 
that  the  glory  reflected  by  me  has  added  to  that  of 
England  and  the  rest  of  the  world.  It  is,  of  course, 
beneath  my  dignity  to  state  that  my  veracity  is  and  will 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 


183 


remain  unquestioned,  for  time  will  prove  and  history  re- 
cord the  adventures  that  I  have  had  the  pleasure  of  relat- 
ing and  you,  in  turn,  have  had  the  privilege  of  reading. 


n — ~ — : — ' 

f 

ADIEU! 

IN  ALLY,  as  I  conclude  my  veracious  nar- 
rative, I  beg  of  my  young  Readers  the  in- 
dulgence due  a  soldier  and  gentleman  of  my 
fortitude  and  distinction.  You  have  followed 
me  by  land  and  sea ;  you  have  attended  with 
admiration  and  unshaken  belief  the  wan- 
derings of  one  whose  courage  was  only  equaled  by  his 
presence  of  mind  and  incredible  ingenuity.  If,  at  times, 
you  have  marveled  at  feats  accomplished  by  no  other 
man,  I  am  sure  your  spirits  have  sought  to  emulate  and 
your  courage  to  achieve  like  adventures. 

I  shall  not  endeavor  in  this  chronicle  of  my  accom- 
plishments to  record  a  thousand  more,  absorbing  as  they 
would  prove  to  those  of  your  youthful  imagination.  But 
it  is  my  desire  (I  shall  not  say  command)  that  when 
you  come  to  riper  years  you  shall  read  for  yourselves 
completer  records  of  my  adventures  so  justly  famous. 
No  annals  of  history  hold  the  like  for  wonder,  courage, 
unstained  honor,  and  veracity. 

So,  young  Comrades  in  ordeal  and  triumph,  I  bid 
you  farewell \  commending  you  to  Fortune  for  favor 
and  fame.    In  conclusion,  I  require  of  you  a  strict  ad- 


THE  CHILDREN'S  MUNCHAUSEN 


herence  to  truth,  no  matter  what  the  pain  or  sacrifice, 
and  I  exhort  you  to  follow  the  examples  of  those  whose 
fortitude  remains  unmoved  in  battle,  stress,  or  storm, 
and  whose  honor  stands  glorious  and  unstained  before 
the  eyes  of  the  onlooking  world.  Thus  am  /  and  thus 
do  I  remain, 

MUNCHAUSEN 


CAMBRIDGE   .   MASSACHUSETTS 
U  .  S  .  A 


™— i»«S f**r 

°  recharges  may  belj1^  642-4209 
^  BOOKS  AKF  J°du«d««e    *"*<*"  Prio? 


LD  21-100m-2,'55 
(Bl39s22)476 


University  of  California 
Berkeley 


